Unconditional Worth with Kari-Rae Millet | Ep.47

I believe in divine timing. I believe that the right people information, wisdom, guidance, heck things arrive when we're ready for them. I believe that owning our own truth unconditionally is the path to not only creative fulfillment, but more about success and abundance. This is not only a podcast to help you get strategic and mastered a position of success. It's a declaration to share the truth. It's a commitment to keep going to make it happen no matter what. It's an activation and invitation for me for you and for us to play a bigger game. So my question for you is this. Do you really want it? Do you really want to make your dreams come true? Do you really want to become a six figure coach? Welcome to the diaries of a six figure coach podcast. I am your host, Theresa Lambert. And I dare you to get ready to show up, boss up and make it happen.

Hello, hello, and welcome back on another episode of diaries of a six figure coach Podcast. I'm so excited to be here with my longtime client and fabulous body liberation Coach Kari-Rea millet, she is amazing. And I am blessed to have her in my world. And our votes actually have collided way back when, when we became mastery satisfied in a transformational coaching method in 2018, which was incredible. And then I'll pop sort of went apart, and then they came back together. And here we are, we've been in business together. I've been blessed to support her. I have learned a ton from her as it relates to actually developing a healthy and positive relationship with my body and my body image. So I am so excited that you're here today, Kari and that we get to jam about business and self worth and how that all intertwines and wide metal that we feel comfortable in our bodies.

Oh 100% Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to dive into this conversation because it's like no one talks about self worth, or like, how having a relationship with your body intertwines with your business. And it totally, totally does.

Oh, my God, well, like, dive more into that. Like, I would love for you to just share a little bit of maybe your journey around that building your business and how what you do for the women that you work with actually has become relevant as it relates to you growing your business and how it's supported you?

Well, you know, we've been working together for what was it two years now? Yes, holy pickles. It's crazy. Um, and honestly, like, one of the things that has really struck me with you is like, the power of like being enough. And then now like tying in the spiritual element of like, owning your own alignment has a lot to do with like, your relationship with yourself and their relationship with your body. And it's like you, if you don't take care of yourself, you don't if you don't take care of your body, then how are you going to show up for your business? So it's tightly correlated. And it has taught me really to, I guess, put myself as like top priority, like first priority in the morning and even like throughout your day? Because it's like, if it doesn't feel good for me, why am I going to do it? And that's so true for business. And that's something that like you've taught me of like, if it's, if it's not fun, why are you going to do it? And like, I don't know, I'm insane. Like the first, no first year of business, you're like, I don't know what I'm doing. So it's like, smash it when you're starting out. Your sense of self worth isn't top notch because you're doing something new. And you're like, I don't know, there's no, there's no script, there's no manual. So it was like, What do I do? Well, it's like, Okay, we got to build the relationship with yourself, you gotta to in gotta ask yourself, what you need, what's gonna make what's gonna feel good for you? And so often, like, our bodies get neglected in that process, because we're like, oh, we can build a relationship with our partners or friends, our, with our business, but then our bodies get neglected. And that's like, it's just kind of on there along for the ride. But it's like, it's really that piece of it really is like an equal partnership. It's not just so much Hey, I'm just along for the ride. I'll be here when you need me. And it's like, well, no, because we're having this experience. It's with their bodies. So finding that alignment with their bodies. So we can like show up to the best of our ability in our business is like, I think of like a orchestra mom. And like, Ha, it happens. This is like, what we what our bodies don't feel good, we feel it, you can't really ignore it cuz she gets loud. I'm unhappy. So it's hard to show up in a business when you're like, my body's pissed. Yeah,

I love that. And you know, something that's coming through for me as you're sharing that, too, is that so much of what we do when we develop personal brands, and we're putting ourselves out there, we're always on the spotlight, like we're always in the spotlight. And when we're not comfortable within our own body, and within ourselves, and when we're not taking care of ourselves, or we're kind of sick of ourselves, and we're just not good, like, even physically in our bodies and have that, at the same time that we'll also doing new things in business and having to put ourselves out there, it almost creates this, like pressure cooker environment where we're really putting ourselves in this state of like, stress. So my thoughts just went like, no wonder, so many people go hide, and disappear and fall off their social media and not show up consistently. But it's the same way that we, you know, we we say that we're not feeling good in our bodies, but then we go and, you know, eat the freakin ice cream again, right? Like, Well, we, we say, we feel better if we go to the gym and move our bodies, but then we don't do it. And then we complain that we don't feel good about ourselves. And it's kind of the same way in business. Because how we do one thing is how we do most things. So that discomfort and that lack of commitment that we have, even for ourselves, like our own bodies, and how we see ourselves is often also then a reflection of how we show up for other things, business, and otherwise. So they're so connected, right?

Oh my gosh, there's so so connected. Like, I think it was like a couple of weeks ago now where I was like, I kind of had like a little bit of a it's like the belief of myself was there. But it was overshadowed so much by doubt, and fear. That I was like, it was leaking into my like, like, my nutrition and like my gym life of like, I started to reach out, like externally for things like sign up for things I really, I really didn't need what's in it. And it was like, because I had doubt that I was going to be able to like trust myself with like lifting weights on my own without like someone spotting me. That's like I've done in the past, but I'm just like, oh, it's official. I'm not gonna have a one one coach, oh, my god, like a trainer or anything. I'm really Oh, I so I just got scared shitless and I hid. And I was like, when you do that you do reach out externally for things to make you feel good and validated and supported. But it's just like, again, I talked about sovereignty and like owning your power, no matter what's going on in the outside and just like, oh, I have to call myself in my own shit. Like, oh, I'm reaching outwards. This is a different energy than what I want to embody, and actually building trust belief in myself that I can do it because I can and I have, you know, so it's just like, oh, yeah, gotta gotta cut the external validation that I thought I needed. I really just don't

I love that. How did you stop that journey? To be able to step more into your wife and, and really own, you know, who you are on your body really feel like a hole within yourself? How did you how did you stop that? And how do you you said, I develop trust's like, I can do this. Like how do we do that? How do you how do you do that?

Alright, well, I don't wish anybody to lose a loved one. In 2018 is really one that triggered because my dad was like a biggest supporter of my business like personal cheffing farmers markets. He was like, I can't physically be there for you. But I'm 100% Mostly there. He was kind of like my financial support to let's just be honest with it. And it was just like, I lost them. But I also lost my ex at the time, the same day like my dad's funeral, because he was like, I'm going to be the man you know, we can relate that he all he has also lost his dad. So I was like, oh, sweet, we're gonna bond. I'm gonna have support. And then it would just like get cut off for me. And I was like, oh, so I'm alone. Oh, Oh, and I was like, I know, there's, my mom was there. And then my sister had her man. So she was she was also kind of distracted.

But I was just kind of like, and I know, I know, my dad is like, physically there for me. But it was just like this moment of this is my rock bottom, I'm having, haven't talked about this, I'm having, like, honestly, I like suicidal thoughts. And I was like, This can't be it. And it was just like, it was just this moment, this light bulb of like, the woman I see. Myself being I'm not heard this moment. And it felt so far away from me, but I just, I cannot just, it was just, it was so uncomfortable to sit in a room. And actually just like, be with myself. It's not so much like meditation, and you can label that if you want. But I was not ready to hear anything else. Just like I'm grieving, I'm actually going to spend time with myself. And I'm actually gonna say no to things and actually give me the support that I needed. And I was like, before that I didn't do that. It was like, oh, I need someone else's support, or I need, you know, somebody else's. And it's just like, you know, what, we are the only honest guy like life long best friend that we're ever gonna have. As like, even in the lowest moments, or even like, you know, you could lose your job, or you can just, I don't know, maybe one day, you realize that you gained like 20 pounds. And it was just like, you were the only person that you could rely on that's going to be there for you. 100%. So it's up to you to be that friend that you always wanted. And it's like, we, as humans just crave the need to be loved. And just be like, like, seen and accepted for who we are. That it's like, that's the real power that we have that we can give ourselves is like, I'm hurting, and that's okay. And then what can I do to like, pick myself up again. And it's just, it is just a day to day thing. And looking back, it's like now it's like four and a half years. And like, almost that's crazy. So it feels like a different lifetime ago. Because as like as you teach Theresa, the course correct or like the daily actions really do compound, and then you look back and you're like, even stood monthly reflection in the middle of March. And I was like, wow, look at all that. So it really is about the daily focus that you create for yourself of like, hey, maybe I'm just here to support myself. And again, like this just so correlated with business of like, I'm just going to show up, and have myself be seen and heard for myself, and give myself what I need. So I can serve from a place of like, unconditional love and worth. No matter like what happens externally.

Thank you so much for sharing that Kari and your vulnerability to share with us what you went through. I think that, you know, obviously, that was a difficult time for you. And it's always incredible how some of those most difficult times can become such pivotal moments for us to really be like, hang on a second. Something's got to change, something's got to shift, something's gotta come be different here. Right? Like, I can't keep looking for these things outside of me. And I have to start to realize that I am the one with the power. I'm the one to give it to myself. That's what you said. And I think that that is so powerful, right like that, we understand that. We all out there like I want to be seen, I want to be heard. I want to be out you know, in business, but also like, come on as like humans, right? Like we want to be seen. We want to be heard. We want to be appreciated. We want to be loved, we want to be supported. And you know, that really struck me as you said that, but it's like we don't give it to ourselves, right? Like we don't give that level of support, love and appreciation and seeing us and hearing us we don't give it to ourselves, but we expect everybody else to give it to us or want everyone else to give it to us. But until we learn how to give a child selves and lead ourselves and as what you just shared so beautifully. We can't even get there. So the journey really starts by saying hey, A I am, I have the power to give this to myself first and then be in the embodiment and move from that place rather than waiting for people, other things or external things to give those things to us. So it kind of really takes our like power and sovereignty and control back rather than having an outward facing.

And as one of the things that's coming through me right now, of like, I'm loving yourself enough to give yourself what you need every day. Like, I don't know if I don't remember if you've actually shared this on your podcast, or if even if you want to, but the day that you had a big issue, I'll just call it taking water. So sorry. Um, I love that because it was just like, you, you showed yourself like you want to. It's like loving yourself enough to give yourself the things that would make you feel supportive. Like, I'm most days, I want to know what lunch is. So by the time lunch happens, I'm ready to go. And my body can feel okay about it. Because it's like my body used to be like, Oh, my gosh, when is the next time we're going to eat? Have you even thought about that? Do you even care about me? You know? What's that? So it's like, it's good to have your body on board for that to have like, Okay, well, this is what we're going to have for lunch. It's going to be roughly around this time, and you're just communicating yourself and your body. But you're also allowing yourself to show up for, you know, your business that you want to be fully present, but also like not overthinking what your next step is.

So good. Also, for anyone who missed the egg story, which is like so many people talk to me and thanked me for sharing that, I managed to spoil the chips out of eggs to the point that they popped on the stove, because I forgot that they were on the stove and I left the stove on because I was rushing and squeezing something in between rather than focusing on doing a task at a time. And so the intention was there. For two weeks, the execution was really a reminder to slow down and to honor that. But you know, to bring it back to what you said, it's disclosed neglect of what we need, physically in our bodies to be able to perform our best, whether that's in business, or whether that's in life, or whether that's just generally like how we feel. And we're the only ones who can make that change. We're the only ones who can make that difference. So I love that you're bringing this up, because it's like, you can be all focused and committed to your business. But if you're not focused and committed to work your stuff out within yourself, and fix the relationship you have with you don't even fix heal, I want to say heal or embrace. Maybe it's not even fix or heal. It's like embrace the relationship and say, Hey, like one of the things I always say. And this is actually something that when I worked with a client years ago was like, quite like he's got like 50 Plus businesses. And one of the things he said is like, was like his top like, goals was like, my body is my temple. And it always stuck with me, you know, because really, with our bodies were no one like who really are we and I've gone through burnout so many times and through neglect that so many times that I know better to take care of myself now. And for the first time in my life last year when I went through for all the change. Taking care of myself was not the problem. And I was like sweet, I got that. But it was such a journey to get there. And I think when we don't do it that to actually be able to show up consistently becomes nearly impossible for us.

Yeah, 100% and an example. Oh, yeah. So one of the things I like to enforce does, like your body showed up for you today. And I was like, what? And I was like, well, your heart's beating, right. You're breathing. Things are working. What are you doing to show up for your body today? And that was definitely a perspective shift of like, oh my god, I'm I'm so sorry. Like, I have been neglecting my body. I'm sorry. I've been neglecting you. And I feel like ship for know that like it's a different perspective. And it's just, again, like a relationship. It's like if one side is is doing its part, what are you doing? Are you showing up and asking and communicating with that other person? Or even like your body? In this instance? Are you communicating and like asking what you need? Mine is like, I'm still thirsty. And I'm like, how many? We've had 60 ounces of water today. Like no joke, and she's like, I'm still thirsty woman. I was like, Okay.

I hear you what, thank you for talking with me, because I'm like, I'm all for a relationship that communicates. Like what you actually need, but it took it took my body and I a while to build up to that point. Because it's like, are you actually going to hear me this time? Are you actually going to follow through with that? And it was such a different, because you still have to build a relationship, like you would build a relationship with like a new friend, or like, our partner, you know, you still have to like, what do you like? Do you like it? When we do this? Do you like it when we do this? Like now it's I think, you know, like, society has this role of like, Oh, if you move an hour or two, or after working for like, an hour or two, you know, move your body. And I was like, and that's so general. And it's good. But I would just like, the other day, I went for a walk because my boss was like, hey, we need to move on. I'm, like, hurt you. And it was just like, we went slow. I was on a treadmill. And we went like two miles per hour. And it was really good, because it was just like about moving my legs. And you we took some big ass like giant circle steps to get the legs moving. And then it was like, my ego was like, Hey, we're almost to a mile. And I was like, Hey, go, this ain't about you. If my body is set with 25 minutes, and was it, maybe like point eight of a mile, then we're good. We're good. We don't need to satisfy that. Because it's like, the body isn't good place. And like, Okay, we moved. Cool. It doesn't have to be something like drastic, like a 60 minute workout sometimes, you know, it's just like, we don't have to, like live by the hour. You know, just just like, listen to what your body needs. Work with her.

Because listening piece because I feel like so often we kind of know. And we just turn that part of us off that knows. And it's like, intuitively and through feeling through it. We like we know what would feel good in that moment. It's like, we know sometimes like doing the hit workout feels great. And other times, like doing a gentle walk or yoga or like something different would feel a lot better to us. And, yeah, it's so true how we force ourselves into doing things a certain way, because we're so dictated by society around what we should be doing.

Right? As you know, like, especially with like, the business piece, oh, you've shifted it for me the get to do list. You get to do this. But it's like, again, then that mine comes in of like, oh, we have to get this done today. We don't have time to walk. And I was like, you sure we don't got time? Even if it's like five time it sounds like we have time.

I love that. I'm really curious, like how do you feel like this relationship that you started developing, with yourself with your body with learning to listen and tapping in and I know, this is what you help your clients with to how does that help our general sense of self worth.

So like, the more that you build the relationship with yourself and your body, you. It's just like, it makes it like a priority for you. And it's like, the more that you put yourself as a priority. And you don't even have to like think of it as a priority. But like checking in with yourself every day, or even like throughout the day like you would with a partner. Um, you start to build, like, trust with yourself of like, oh, I said I was going to do this. And now I'm actually like following through with it. So that's how you build the trust. And then that's how you build. You get to like build your worth. And part of it too is want to say this right? Part of it too, is also realizing that where you're at right now is like an Enough. And, like also being open to the possibility, and I love talking about it, of like, embodying your unconditional worth, is like when we came here, that's who we are. But society and our experiences has, like disconnected us from our unconditional worth. And it's like, when you actually embody your unconditional worth, you let go of a lot of stories of like, what it's supposed to be what I'm supposed to look like, when I'm supposed to feel like what am I supposed to do? Lease career is for me. Um, and it's like, you release a lot of the shame. Even like, around food, food is food. foon This is coming from like a chef, like food is just food y'all. That's, that's good. Okay, let's release the pressure, let's release the force, let's release the stress and really just come back home. And really remembering, like our worth, and it's just, it is a relationship that you build, you build and build, and you show up for every day. Because it's like, if you don't take the action to actually like build that relationship, it's not going to change. And we are creatures of habit, creatures of habit. But it's just, I guess, it's just up to you, if you like, if you want to connect with your worth. And once you actually start embodying that, then you're also people around you, they don't, they don't always see you as unconditionally worthy either. So then that's when the sovereignty comes in. And like, well, I'm worthy, no matter what happens, and you start to like, shift people out of your life, because not everyone's gonna see you like that, which is unfortunate. But you just, you know, you send them love, and you send them on their way. And it's just, it really, like sets the tone for like, if you don't want to do something, then don't do it. Because you know, either you're worthy regardless if you do it or not.

So the unconditional wealth, ah, that like really like what you just said, like really landed for me on so many levels. But one of the things that, you know, I've witnessed you do over the last few years, as you've been, you know, changing your business pivoting like redefining what it is that you want to do, taking on clients taking upstages going out there speaking, you know, has made such like you've been through such a huge transformation. And I have witnessed you go through that transformation in the last couple of years. But I feel like something that you said resonated with me around what I've seen you do and what I've also seen myself go through, and it starts, the shame we hang on around our bodies, or how we feel the neglect that we give to ourselves, around what our needs are the way we we undermine what, what we know would be so much better for us, all of that pulls us away from actually saying, Hey, I'm, I'm lovey, and I'm showing up, and I'm making decisions that work for me. And I am confident in the way that I show up. And when it comes to business, your ability to sell comes down to how confident you are to actually sharing your message online. And it's the authority that that creates and what you're sharing that actually will scale your business. So by being in this shame spiral around our bodies, and being in this neglect and not having that level of wealth, were directly impacting what we experienced on the outside. But when we actually do the work, and you embody that you're able to show up more naturally confident, because you've already decided that you know it and that's enough. So that is such a powerful like such a powerful shift that you're guiding women through. Because quite honestly, it ripples in in every single area of your life. Like it's not just that you're going to be like, Oh, I feel better in my body. But you show up differently, and people can feel it. And because people can feel it. They actually start to notice and say, Hmm, what do you do again?

Yeah, exactly, exactly. And that's like, I know that you and I both have talked about like, peace, like finding your own peace. And when you realize when you've really embodied your piece, and you've really found it is like when things happen outside you, especially with like business, maybe like a launch like flopped or something or you didn't get as much signups as you want it to do your cell peaceful at the end of the day. And that's like, I gotta man, like, I can't go backwards. But if I had, like, when I first started my business years ago, um, and I, and I did it from like, a peaceful state, I bet there. And I'm doing it now, which is great. But it's just like back then I, I hid myself a lot. Because there was a lot of fear, there was a lot of doubt, there's not a, you know, there's no worth there. There was barely even love, for Pete's sake. It was love for other people. And it's like you really cage yourself, to protect yourself from other people. It's like, well, how are you going to help anybody that way? No one can see you, no one can feel you. Um, to the degree that you are hoping that people do feel you. And it's like, when you actually feel safe in your body, and with yourself being with yourself. It really does unleash, like, I don't want to say like the floodgates open, but it really is like a different shift. You just kind of crack yourself open. And then you're actually able to receive because you've given it to yourself. Because it didn't now you're like, Ooh, it's a compliment. They're like, Oh, well, thank you for the compliment. That means a lot to me. Versus like, a compliment germs. You deflect it. They're like why?

Yeah, and here you are, like, peg that on is so yeah. So and

then you're like you want clients in, but then you're like deflecting compliments. I was like, receiving is receiving, you're

receiving is receiving? Receiving was such a practice for me. I mean, she's so I know, you know, it all plays in Okay, Carrie will like getting to the end of this interview. And I would love to let people know, where can they find you? So where would you like people to go? What? What would you like, where is a good place for them to find you connect with you chat with you, if they want to find out more.

So I'm mainly on Instagram, on I am KARIRAE. So that is my tag and feel free to just drop in my DMs. I love having conversations with people and just meeting you where you're at today. Because it's like a GPS system, right? Like you gotta know where you're at. And then we can explore where you want to go. And then we can create the action plan to help you get to ADB.

I love that. I love that make sure you follow her over. I am Kari-Rae , I'm also going to drop the link in the show notes. So it's super easy to find. And I really, my wish for you is that from this conversation today. And why I wanted Kari really to come on was to really help you see the importance of developing a relationship with yourself. And how that can actually positively impact the way you're able to show up for another important part in your life, which I know for all of you listening is your business because you are aspiring to grow and scale to six and multi six figures. So in order to be able to do that, that work that carried us with our clients is so important. And she certainly inspired me over the time working with her and I've learned so much from her about really owning that and it's really changed the way I show up online and like I invite you to like scroll down on my feet and like just get an idea of what's changed. That's also a reflection of really owning my wife unconditionally and loving myself unconditionally and showing up around what I believe in and it's allowed me to lead in a in a much more confident way and show up the way I want to without questioning myself or even the way I look sometimes right like, dude, like we built communities online like shit, that's great. It's you know, like there's a lot to consider here. So I think sometimes we forget when it comes to business that a lot of deal that aspect we experience in life plays so much into it, so don't undervalue it. Go follow her at I am Kari-Rae and Kari is it anything else that you'd like to share before we wrap it up? For this episode?

Um, yes. So whenever, whenever you listen to this, um, so it is spring. So anytime we're pulling out like the clothes from like last summer, just give yourself some compassion, and grace. And just when you try on things you realize things don't fit or even if they do fit, awesome, even if they don't just remember that you're unconditionally worthy, no matter what happens.

I love that such a good reminder, I haven't worn winter clothes and a very long time. Someone dresses, so I'm going the opposite direction. And I'm probably going to have to pull a sweater back out by the end of May when I'm getting back to Canada. But I love that so much, Kari, thank you so much for sharing for sharing your wisdom. This was epic. Make sure you follow her all that I am Kari-Rae, and learn more about what Kari does and how it can really help you. You know, own who you are and stand in your wealth and embody your worth unconditionally, which I think is so powerful. So thank you so much for listening. This is a wrap carry. I love you so much. And I'm so excited that I get to support you on your business journey. And I know we're gonna be chatting again and Voxer later tomorrow. So I love that and I will chat with you all soon. Take care.