Retirement Beyond the Financials- Investing in You with Wendy Leggett | DFS 324

Welcome to Destin for success. I'm your

host, Jennifer Takagi, and today I am happy to introduce Wendy

Leggett. Wendy comes from us, from California. I believe

you're right. Yeah, right. Okay, you're

in California. Tell us where, and a little bit about yourself.

Oh, thanks. I'm in Huntington Beach, California.

I was actually born in Colorado, grew up in Washington State, and

I'm one of those that we get to go to Washington on to

California on occasion for vacation, and I lived for the

sun, like the whole way there, I'd be saying, is it going to be

sunny? And I'd be out there with beach chairs flying around

because it's so windy, but I had to go back with a tan. So all

that being said, when I got married, I said to my husband,

the one thing is, can we move to California? And that's why, what

brought me here, just the sun. So, yeah,

I love that. I we I'm in Oklahoma, and we have

a little lake place, and so every weekend, I get in the car

and off I go to hang out at the lake. You're happy place? Yeah,

yeah, exactly. So what do you do? How do you show up in the

world? Who do you help? Tell me more.

I appreciate that. I'm I'm a retirement life

coach. I focus on the non financial aspects of retirement

life planning. And it's interesting, Jennifer, because

when I shared that with people, they say, Wow, what a great

idea. I've never thought of that. How did you come up with

it? And I think that there's not this recognition that this is a

thing, and we've got more and more of a movement toward it.

Because, as we know, so many in that baby boomer generation, of

which I'm a part, are looking at retiring. And so it's really,

you know, top of mind, like, what is that going to look like?

And so my focus, and what's so important to me is the

recognition that we don't want to just be one day you're in and

the next day you're out. I don't know if you're a project, one

way fan I am. So Heidi Klum would always say, in fashion,

one day you're in and the next day you're out. And that can be

with work if people don't think about it. You know that you've

been in your career, you've been focused, maybe you have your

financial house in order. So you think all the work's been done,

and then it's going to be leisure travel and less

weekends. And the reality is, and the study shows, that one in

three struggle in retirement. But I don't know about you, if I

before I started doing this work. If I'd say, you know,

how's retirement going, generally, people would say, Oh,

it's great, you know. And if somebody were to reveal that it

wasn't, you think, Wow, that's crazy.

Years ago, I think I was 23 so that was a few

minutes ago, or decades, or whatever, and I worked at

mortgage banking, and a gentleman in his 60s who had

been vice president of a bank came to work for us, and we're

visiting one day. And I was like, like, why are you here?

What? What brought you it? And he goes, I've watched all my

friends retire, and within drawing about 1012, Social

Security checks. They're dead because they had nothing to do.

Yeah? And I didn't want to do that in this job for me, based

on my history and background. It's easy, it's low stress,

because he was not in a management position, yeah, and

he goes, I play golf one evening a week, because we get off at

five, and I play every weekend, and I'm happy, and this is what

I'm going to do.

I mean, what an accurate and what a sobering and

what a sad story, right? That people, because our work, like

purpose, is built into our work, our sense of identity can be

intertwined with it, our connections we you know, we

don't even realize how many people we talk to and are on

zoom with, or on calls or in meetings. And when we leave that

behind, we can leave pieces of ourselves behind. And so to your

point, that is what can happen with people. They start to feel

aimless, they start to feel a disconnect, and then even a

despondency. So that's that dark side of retirement. You know, I

think it's either one side or the other that people think, oh,

you know, it's rose colored glasses and everything's going

to be perfect, or one foot into the grave. And what I want is

really to bring it in balance. And what I call have a realistic

optimism, be aware, be intentional, and then really

move into action. I call it taking aim, you know, heighten

your awareness, raise your intentionality, make make

commitments and then move into action, get motivated. So

I met a gentleman who is a pediatric

plastic surgeon, and we got to visiting, and he said the number

one cause of death with the elderly that cannot be cured by

modern medicine is loneliness. And it was like, wow. And so I

have a feeling that what you do helps prevent some of that

loneliness, because if you have a plan for retirement.

Retirement. Tell me more about that. Yeah,

you're right. I mean, that that epidemic of

loneliness is one that we're hearing about so prevalently,

and it's, it's at all ages, but most certainly, as we get older,

if we don't have that runway to retirement and elderhood, then

we start to see the loss. You know, if we're not really

putting ourselves out there, and connecting more than that social

circle gets smaller and smaller. And so that is a piece of the

work that I do. I really start with people, first and foremost,

like the gentleman that you met in the bank defining what is

retirement to me, because I've had clients come to me that are

planning for retirement, and when we drill down and say,

Well, why are you retiring? What? What are you retiring to?

And what are you retiring with? Oftentimes it's they've gotten

all this social pressure, or they just assume they turned

6062, 65 that they're supposed to or maybe they're going to

keep up kind of nudging them out. But the question needs to

still be asked, What does it mean to you? How do you define

it? Because retirement, the word should really be retired. You

know, it doesn't really fit any longer in our society, but it's

our common language, so we're using it right now. We'll come

up with something else, and maybe your listeners will will

message in and let us know some ideas, but, but going back to

it. So this idea that we're going to leave work and then,

and then what? And so that's what I focus on, is what? What's

the impetus for leaving? And then what do you see for

yourself? What is your vision? And so we look into, you know,

what's a typical day and a typical week going to look like?

And you've got this time abundance now, but if you

didn't, if your horizon wasn't as long, you know, what would be

the priorities? How would you really want to be spending your

time? So that, I know that's a message you share with your

listeners. Is that purposefulness and that feeling

at your soul, you know? So the human being part of it, at the

human dealing, doing part of it. And so we really then speak

about, you know, what are your values, and aligning those to

feeling purposeful, and what, what do you see for yourself

that you want to leave to the world and gift of yourself? So

we really step through, I mean, I'm kind of jumping around, but

I've got a road map to it, and we really step through the

elements that serve my clients to make sure that by the end of

our work together, they do have, again, this awareness. They've

set these intentions, and they are motivated to act on those

commitments and clarity and conviction about this next

chapter.

Well, and it's it's so important, because I've

heard people say, and I retired at a very young age because they

gave me the opportunity to walk out the door or move, and I

wasn't moving. So I retired. I like air quotes. I retired and

started my own business, and that's why I'm here. I'm an

entrepreneur now. And I interviewed somebody recently,

and she said, Yeah, I didn't do well at retirement. I kind of

flunked retirement, and now I have this business that I love,

right? So you step into something you love, yes, but I

have heard people say, like, when you're like, oh my gosh,

you're retiring, what are you going to do? And you hear things

like, Well, I'm finally going to clean out the closet. I'm

finally going to clean out the garage. I'm going to paint the

house. Like, I'm able to paint the inside of the house, I'm

going to paint the house. And then you talk to him six months

later, and it's like, what do you do? And it's like, well, I

did all those projects in the first three weeks, and now I've

binge watched absolutely everything on every streaming

channel there is,

yeah, you know, the research shows that the

average retiree watches 47 hours of TV a week. So they basically

replaced a full time job with a full time job of watching TV.

And we all know from a cognitive standpoint, from a health

standpoint, from a connection standpoint, and that's that

brings us then to that, you know, potentially early death,

or at least feeling really despondent in that blue sense.

So and no, I

watched more than 47 hours of the Olympics,

and I think I'm stronger and smarter and better.

I can tell that, and I think that was probably

motivating, but I'm going to guess that was in that moment of

time and on. Because I know you're a mover and a shaker.

You're not sitting binging on TV, but, but I think that it is

important then, okay, then, how are we filling that time, but

not filling it with busy, you know, filling it up, but

fulfilling it up. And so there's a big difference, you know, time

being fulfilling rather than time being filled. I've had

clients come to me like you said that these long to do lists are

all these activities, and they're saying I'm busier than

ever. But yet, there's this piece that's missing. There's

this there's this feeling that there's something else, or what

really is this really meaningful? And that's what we

want. You know? So each of us does bring our gifts into the

world. We want to feel connected with that, and feel that we do

have a purpose here, that I think that that can get really

lost, and then how do you find it? And so I'm kind of that

guide and help people translate, okay, all of these ideas that I

have, what's going to feel right for me.

So can you share with us a couple of things

that our listener could do for themselves, like as they're

contemplating they might already, already be in the

throes of retirement and thinking, absolutely this isn't

quite as exciting. I mean, if you've got a bazillion dollars,

it doesn't take that much to travel a lot, but if you think

you have to have that much like, are you traveling as much as you

want? My husband and I had a conversation recently because

I've been traveling a lot, and there's going to come a day when

I just don't want to right that, either physically, it's too

hard, or it's too much trouble, or I'm just over it, because as

hard as that is for me to imagine at this point, I kind of

think at some point I could be over it, and then what? So I

come to you, I'm like, in the throes of retirement. I didn't

pre plan, but now here I am, yes, like, what can I do now?

Joe, sure, and I do work with people that are pre

retirement and post, you know, post retirement, I do a lot of

presentations, and I do have people in the audience that say,

Wow, I wish I'd known about you when, because I've gone through

all of this difficulty or wasting time, or feeling less

than for so long. And, you know, potentially, they get over it,

or they get into these patterns that don't serve but in any

event, each of us has to make those decisions. So for someone

who does decide, yes, I would like some support. Or for your

listeners, okay, where do I start? It's really that idea of

what does retirement mean to me? So really defining it and then

really getting some clarity or beginning ideas of what is your

vision? Because we know that the average retiree now lives 2030,

or more years. And so that's a third of your life, a third of

your life. And so yes, you've got this bucket list, maybe, or

travel or the to do, but yeah, as you said, that's going to

wear thin, or it's going to wear out and and there's also so much

more to life. So even if you've got travel plans, then really

think about what is it about that place that I really want to

see? What will I want to bring back with me in the way of

memories or understanding or learning, really stepping into

it and doing the research, if that resonates for you, but

being present and squeezing everything out of all the

different things that we do. So I would say, really define. You

know, I'm in retirement now, or I'm looking at retirement. What

does that mean to me? What am I about? What's important to me,

what's my vision, and what are the steps I need to take to get

there? So that's a lot, and at the end, I will share with

everyone that there is this little mini workbook that I'd

like to offer them, this roadmap to retirement, and it does help

step you through that definition about retirement that you know

no regrets retirement, envisioning that first day, what

it looks like, and envisioning, what if you only had a limited

amount of time, what would be your priorities on that workbook

as well, it really does speak to what's your perspective, because

we know so often people go in with this feeling of loss, that

they're aging and that their their world is getting smaller.

But we can shift that perspective, and we can go in

with, wow, I've got these possibilities and this outlook

of positivity and being in that present and filled with

gratitude, which is also a little sheet in the mini

workbook. So I think people will enjoy that.

So I I love all of this. I can't wait to get

mine. But how did you get to this point? Like, what was your

your background, that you woke up one day and said, I need to

help people with this. How did you get to that point?

I appreciate the question, and I'll try to be

succinct, but I'll take you all through just a little bit of my

background. So I was in corporate for about 25 years in

sales leadership, so anywhere from Fortune 50 to fashion to

franchises. And I loved the work. I loved the sales process.

I loved being able to elevate my team members capabilities. Love

the connection with clients, and really loved having

deliverables, you know, meeting those sales and service KPIs. I

loved all of it. The last position that I was in, and this

was about five or so years ago, was as a leader of these number

of franchises. Loved the work. We were doing amazing things,

very creative, which is a part of what I enjoy, too. But they

decided to sell the business and in for in hindsight, good on

them, because we were at the height of the business, so but

that, that unfortunate part is. That the new owner had a very

different philosophy in facing the market and how he worked

with the team members. And so I really tried to work with that.

But, and maybe you've been in this position too, that when

you're carrying forward someone else's values, to be able to to

say that to clients, or say that to your your the folks that are

working for you, it feels so bad, I mean, and I kept trying,

but I just could not, I just could not continue to carry the

message. So I'm fortunate in a way that that happened, because

I think had it not, I would have just continued on. I think that

at that moment, I was at that crossroads, okay, do I find a

new position or what. And it was really, then I really started

thinking, you know, the thing that I love is bringing myself

forward, making those connections, making life better

for people. And so why not bring myself forward? So I researched

things. I discovered the world of coaching, which I didn't even

know existed. You know, we were, yeah, and so, and, you know, I

guess I'd work with coaches, but in a very niche way, like in

presentations, or in, you know, facing the market or whatever.

But so I went back to school. I am now have, I went to an

international coaching Federation accredited school, so

I now have my professional sort of certification as a coach. And

so then that leads to, okay, but why retirement? So I was, you

know, they say, teach, what your coach, what, you know? So I

started as a business coach, but what I was finding Jennifer is

it still stayed very transactional. You know, it was

really about helping elevate people's capabilities. It was

really about the strategies, but it wasn't getting at the soul.

It wasn't getting at that deeper piece. And I felt that I really

want to make a difference, which I define as that transformation.

So what I was observing, though, is, again, in this demographic,

baby boomers, that are the ones that are tending to be retiring.

Those that were born in 1946 to 1964 or 65 I was seeing, what

we've talked about is that, you know, they've stepped into this

retirement undefined and then unclear. And, as one client

said, lost in the desert, you know, and just trying to do what

they think is successful by having travel and leisure, maybe

a little volunteering, sprinkle up with grandkids and taking

care of them, if that's the case, but just not really having

their own vision and not taking control. I call it a retirement

by design, not default and so. So then I discovered, you know,

isn't it so fun? You and I discovered coaching. Then I

discovered there's this whole world around retirement

coaching, so I was able to go back and get several

certifications and that become a member of that community. And

that's, that's what I've been Springboarding off. And I do

want to express that this is just so important to me. It's,

it's very gratifying work, because in our demographic, we

weren't raised with positive psychology. We weren't raised

with those ideas that emotions or flags to something deeper,

and they're they're telling us we need to look at something

more closely. And so I think that a lot of the people that I

work with, who I know, also looked at no pain, no gain power

through be highly productive. If you've got some feelings about

things. You put it to the side, or you push it down, because

that's inefficient. And so I'm really able to help open that

door for people and let them step into something that's

deeper, not in a way that, you know, sometimes people think,

Oh, that's so, you know, it's so nebulous, or it's a woo out

there. So it's not that. It's just really key into who they

are, what's important to them, and how can we move forward in

that direction?

Well, we've had a very similar path, because I

worked for the federal government, and most training

was how to do something not like personal development, which

there's this misconception that personal development is airy

fairy, whatever, but in actuality, you elevate the

person and their work is going to elevate like it's a direct

connection, and there's lots of research about that. But I also

did leadership training as my first foray into retirement and

entrepreneurship and and then you just keep making shifts and

turns, and then you finally land where it's like, this feels this

is it. This feels good the people who do the business

coaching, I mean, good for you. We need you, and without you, I

wouldn't be here. But when it no longer serves you to be teaching

and training in that you know, it's time to to address

something else and move a little different path. So I love this,

and I love that you're providing a platform and a place for

people to go and learn and do more. I I've been. Teased

somewhat. You might have experienced this too with, I'm

just exhausted watching you. You're supposed to be retired.

And it was like, it, you know, fills me up. I'm very happy

to Yes, yeah. Well, I think, I think, as

social creatures, we want things to make sense, you know, we

want, we want this cohesiveness, this herd, this tribe, and so

people tend to want to put us into a box. And I think that

awareness that you know that no judgment there. You're good

where you are, but an awareness that I don't want to be in that

box, that that label doesn't fit me. And so So I think that's

important. I wonder too, since we're discovering that we both

found this world of coaching, and I think your listeners might

benefit from this too. Did you find the world of Positive

Intelligence or anything like that? Because I'm a certified

Positive Intelligence coach, and that idea that we have these

negative emotions, and so by catching them, they're called

saboteurs in Sherzad work, catching them and then allowing

ourselves to really define, okay, what's coming up for me,

give ourselves a little brain, breathe there a little space and

grace, and then move into a more positive stance, what he calls

sage. That's been a springboard for me with my work with clients

too, because, as I mentioned earlier, not brought up with

positive psychology. For most I'm not really keyed into

emotions. This becomes, then a pathway to that. And so I do

feel strongly that a lot of times, people have an awareness

that something's not quite right, but then they need the

tools and they need that guidance. And so I think that

that's that full package that I provide. So I

love that, and I had a girlfriend reach out to

me one time, and she's just in the last couple years, and she

said, Hey, can you be a part of this session? And I was like,

Yeah. I didn't even know what it was, but I a young man was

getting his certification in. I froze up for a sec. A young man

was getting his certification in that PQ Positive Intelligence

Program, and so he needed people in his beta group to do his

stuff. And I often need people in mind, because those of you

been listening to me a while, I've got a lot of certification,

so I need people. And I was like, Yeah, I would love to that

sounds great. And so just for the listeners, as simple, like,

without going into any detail, one of the things is we just let

our you know. First you have an emotion, something happens. You

have an emotion, yeah? But then if you add meaning to it, then

you create a feeling which lasts much longer. And then if you're

feeling last long enough, you get into a mood that can last a

long time. And the question is, is any of it serving you?

Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not. But if something happens

and you have that emotion, and you're instantly triggered with

this, I'm going to say negative emotion, not happiness and joy,

but typically not, yes, if you can just very gently rub your

thumb and is it your index finger? Does it matter which

finger? Is it your ring finger? Your middle finger? Yeah,

I think whatever I mean, I it, he always showed

it this way, but, yeah, that's doing a PQ, right? That you're

feeling the ridges of your fingertips, and you just give it

the that total focus. And what is so gently, yes, so gently,

yeah. But when we put total focus on that, it clears out the

clutter in our brain. It just gives us a chance to just quiet

the noise. And I think that's what you're talking about, is

that otherwise those negative or difficult emotions move then

into these feelings become cemented, can ruminate, so we

just just break that cycle

and break it quickly. And I shared this with

my nieces at the time. We had, I think, one in high school and

two in college, and now we got two in college and one out of

college. So, and I'm over there a lot, but I shared that with

them, and one of them that was out of college at this point

said I was at a meeting, and they said something that was

really bothersome, triggering whatever word irritated her, and

she goes, and I sat there under the table and very gently rub my

fingers together, and Just was feeling those ridges, and I

calmed right down. It was like, yeah, it works. Sometimes the

simplest things can have the the greatest impact. So

yeah, I think we connect, like in her case and in

mine. And you know what we're saying is that you connect that

rubbing those fingertips with this sense of calm, and then

move into that laser focus. It just allows, it just allows us

to not keep our hand on the hot stove. Is what we can move it

quickly.

Yeah, we can move it quickly. Man, Wendy,

this has been great. There are so many people that are going to

benefit from the work that you're doing on helping navigate

this path of. Retirement. I know you have a free gift, but in

general, can you give us a little glimpse into how you work

with people? Do you work one on one? Do you have group like,

what's that look like? Yeah,

I do work one on one. I found that it's so

individualized that, in my case, that just feels like that allows

people to really voice, really excavate what's going on for

them, and then allows them to then move forward. So I do have

a four session package. I have a four month package, and

anything, you know, in between, but those are the two kind of

hallmarks of my program. And then it's just really whatever

is going to meet people's needs. But I, I do tend to really find

the most value in the one on one. So

oh my gosh, I love that. And we will have the

link in the show notes so people can get your free gift that they

can start mapping out their roadmap. That's what it is,

right?

Yeah? Like, yes, yeah, roadmap to retirement and

beginning that, and then in the when you download it. And I hope

everybody does, because I like it, and I think that you will

too listeners, then I do invite you to a discovery call, so a

free, one hour coaching session. And what you can do is you work

through that workbook, and then connect with me, and we can go

over your findings in it. We can go over what other obstacles,

opportunities you have. But I think, and I think this is a

message you carry forward to Jennifer, is that that idea of

hope without action remains hope. You know, we were bringing

you some ideas here today. Hopefully you've heightened your

awareness and you have some insights. But if we don't take

those insights and put them into action, then they just kind of

sit on the shelf and they don't, it was like, Oh, that was so

interesting that it doesn't really take us forward. And

that's what we're about, right? Is making that difference?

Oh my gosh, I love this so much. So people

typically listen to podcasts. Listeners out there, you're

listening on your phone, and I just want you to say you can

just scroll down to the show notes, click the link, there's a

link there, so you don't even have to leave your platform to

get to the roadmap. This has been awesome. Wendy, do you have

any final words for our audience?

I mentioned earlier this idea of a

retirement by design, not default, and that this is your

time. And so rather than allowing family, friends, the

media, the world out there to design it for you, really take

that charge and really step into this is a wonderful this is such

a unique, wonderful, different experience, make the most of it.

Ah, that is awesome. Retirement by design. I

love it. Wendy, thank you so much for your insights and

sharing your time with us today.

Oh, it's really enjoyable. I love your energy

always, and I'm a avid listener, and so thank you so much for the

time as well. Ah,

thank you. I love that. So if you're

listening, you know, hit, subscribe, follow, whatever the

buttons all are, do all those things. I'm Jennifer Takagi with

destin for success, and I look forward to connecting with you

soon on the stop.