Respect Appreciation & Receptivity | DFS 262

Welcome to destined for success. I'm your

host Jennifer Takagi and today I want to follow up on last week's

episode. If you didn't catch it, Julie Furman, the Cupid's coach

was talking to us about relationships, both the dating

type relationships, and then marriage type relationships and

relationships with other people. So today, I want to just like

take it a step further, take a little twist, and just focus on

three main things that she talked about

respect, appreciation, and receptivity. So respect.

You might have heard me talk about the pesky thoughts running

through your head, that are typically really negative,

they're negative, they hold you down, they hold you back, they

impact other people.

And we have to take those pesky thoughts and flip them around

into something positive, something positive. So what are

you saying to yourself on a regular basis? That's hateful

and negative? And how can you flip those around to a positive

statement?

We are so harmful to ourselves, we are our own worst enemies.

And when we can start treating ourselves with respect,

and start using better terms when we talk to ourselves, then

it's gonna be easier. To be nicer to other people I have a

friend the other day was like, Why is there so much drama in

the world? Can we not just be nice? And the answer is,

apparently not. I mean, I wish we were nicer. But we are always

in iPhone, like how to work too. I had those days when my

ugliness comes out. I try not to but it happens, it happens to

all of us. But if we can change the messages running through our

head every day, and we are more respectful to ourselves,

then we can branch out and be more respectful to others.

I did this exercise one time at a conference I was at it was a

retreat, actually. And they had us write down like those hateful

things we say to ourselves, like when things don't go right how

ugly and horrible we are to ourselves.

And then

we had to partner up. And we had to read that to somebody else.

As if that other person were our best friend.

And the question becomes, are you going to talk like that to

your best friend?

No. And your best friend is best friends with you not because

they believe your all the hateful things you tell yourself

is because they see the good in you.

So we're going to replace our pesky thoughts with positive

thoughts. And we're going to catch ourselves when we're being

ugly to ourselves. But what are we saying to other people? What

are we saying to our kids?

I heard someone say once that she's always telling her

daughter who's like four years old, something like you're a hot

mess or something. You're a handful. And it's true. The

little girl is just vivacious. And she's got it all going on.

But what story

is that beautiful little girl creating in her mind that is

going to propel her in the future.

I'm too much.

I need to sit down. I need to shut up. Nobody wants to hear

what I have to say.

I'm not worthy.

Do you get the picture? So we say these things to children

half the time we're just kidding. And it's impacting

them. It's impacting them greatly. More than we ever can

even imagine. And I can imagine it because I work with people

pretty regularly, if not every day, that are living out the

stories that were told to them. So be careful what you say to

other people. And what about your environment? Are you

respectful of your environment? And I am Yes, I'm talking like

the outdoors, the trees, the grass, the flowers, the you know

pollutants, all those kinds of things. But I'm also talking

about the environment you live in.

Is your car clean? I drive a lot and I end up sometimes when

somebody's getting in my front seat and I haven't thrown away

whatever I just had. I just toss it in the backseat and then it

never fails. It never mails I end up with several free

I was trying to get in the car at one time and I gotta move all

the crap at the backseat. And I'm so embarrassed. Why? Because

I didn't take those few seconds to throw away. What was trashing

the environment in my car? I used to smoke Don't be judgy I

used to smoke.

And I was adamant that I had to empty my ashtray every day. Like

I did not want a stinky dirty ashtray in my car and not

overnight. And imagine my horror, one of my aunts passed

away and my uncle and cousins came in town for the funeral. It

was his older sister. And I ended up having to drive around

my three cousins and my uncle in my car. And let me just tell

you, people, it stunk, because I had not emptied the ashtray the

night before. What's your environment?

When you open the front door, and it and the doorbell rings,

and you weren't expecting anyone, or you humiliated, it's

like, holy crap, holy. I don't want anybody in my house. What's

your environment? Are you treating it with respect? If you

have a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food on

the table? We have to take a minute to be appreciative of

that. Is it the exact house you want? Maybe maybe not.

Are the clothes exactly what you want? Maybe, maybe not?

Is the food you put on the table beans and cornbread? Or is it

filet mignon with a twice baked potato? I don't know. If you

can't be grateful for the little things, you're not going to be

grateful for the big things. I'm going to say that again. If you

can't be grateful for the little things, you're not going to be

grateful for the big things. And I see this play out. I see this

play out in people's lives where they say if only I had more

money, and they get more money. And what do they do?

They piss it away. Poof, it's gone. Poof.

They buy something and then they don't take care of it. They get

a new lawn mower and they don't hose it down after every use. I

bought my first lawn more. It was used and it was not a very

good Lemoore and broke down all the time. And it was

problematic. And I got a new job I got a big raise. And the first

thing I did with that first humongous paycheck at $20,000 a

year and that was massive amounts of money for me. I went

to the lawnmower store. And I bought a red snapper lawnmower

that was self propelled because I had my lawn lawn and I wanted

an easy one. And the guy told me at the store. If you will hose

this off after every use and keep that filter clean. This

farm more will last you forever. And guess what? Every time my

husband because I bought it when I was single and then I met my

husband then we got married. And then he would use my lot my

lawnmower people I'm very possessive, my lawn more. And

I'd go out there and say did you hose that? Did you hose it down.

I spent my hard earned money on that lawn mower and I wanted it

well taken care of. So if I didn't take care of that lawn

more than the next one more wouldn't come, thank God, I

don't have to mow the lawn anymore. That's why I got

married people. Let's put that down. I got married, so I didn't

have to mow the lawn. But you have to be grateful for those

little things. If you're grateful for that beans and

cornbread dinner, then maybe tomorrow, you can have something

that you like even more. But we have times have to take time to

be grateful. And being in that state of gratitude and

appreciation. I get in my car I have a 2011 Toyota Avalon, I

bought it I did not I guilt trip to my husband into buying it for

me in the fall of 2020. Oh 2020 2021 Maybe it was 2020 I

don't remember. And it was used. I had over 100,000 miles on it.

And I put like I don't know 70,000 miles on it or something

because I drive a lot. Every time I get in that car, even if

I have trashed in the backseat, let's be clear. I am so grateful

to have it. I love it. And I'm so sad Toyota in making them

anymore. I'm gonna write them a letter. But I'm so grateful to

have that car. I'm grateful I can afford to put gas in it. And

I'm grateful that the other day I was able to put new tires on

it. I'm grateful for that car. I know people who would say oh my

god is 2023 And you're driving a 2011 Yes, because it's a Toyota

and I'm a Toyota me and you can be whatever kind of man or woman

you want. But I'm I'm all about the Toyota. I've had a lot of

great luck with Toyota. But I'm super grateful. I'm grateful

even though It's an old car, and I take care of it, and I wash

it. And I vacuum it at least once a week. Actually, I do. So

are you grateful for the little things? Are you showing

appreciation for the little things? If somebody pays you

what they owe you? Do you jump up and down with excitement? I

had two clients in one day, a little bit out of the blue book

on my calendar, and the payments are coming through. I did a

happy dance. I'm gonna say I scared my cat to death during my

happy dance. But I'm grateful for that. I don't care if it's a

$67 client or a $1,200 client or a $10,000. Client. I'm going to

celebrate it. I'm going to celebrate it all. Are you open

to receive? Are you open to receive money? Good health. So

poor. I was working with a woman who can see chakras? No, I don't

understand that at all. Please don't ask me questions, because

I don't get it. I mean, I know what they are. But like, her

level of expertise is so far beyond my comprehension. But she

said, Jennifer, you're just completely closed off to

receiving. And initially I was like, yeah, no, that is so not

true. But the more I thought about it, it kind of is true. It

was it's in the past, I got over that. But receiving from others,

whether it's money or support, I struggle. I was at an event and

they said, We went around the room. And everybody had to say

why they were there. And I said, Well, I'm here to connect with

other women. It was a women's retreat. I'm here to connect

with other women. And I'm looking for support. I don't

know what support looks like, but I'm looking for support. And

a woman that I had met online and worked with online for quite

a while, was there in person, it's so fun to be in person

again. And she said, I am here to support you, Jennifer,

whatever it is that you need on this trip. What it was amazing.

I was open to support the support came, I made a comment

to my husband about needing something in the next day, he

texted me and said, Hey, I did this. You have to be open to

ask. If you're one of those people out there and you know

who you are. I don't have to call you out because you know

who you are. If you're the kind of person that thinks everyone

around you should know what you need. You're delusional. There.

I said it is recorded for life. You are delusional. People can

give you what they think you want or need. But that doesn't

mean it is what you want or need. You have to be clear and

concise. Somebody told me recently that she was irritated

her husband wouldn't do XYZ for her. And I said did you ask and

she said what? I said did you clearly and concisely say I want

this and she has wool and I said no any Windows work on men when

it's like a physical kind of sexual thing. If you want him to

do something for you know, you gotta be clear and concise. This

is what I want. This is what I need. Can you make this happen

for me? You have to be open to receive the money, the good

health, all the abundance that the universe has to offer, and

ask for the support and help. I'm going to ask for support and

help right now I would like you to like to share and subscribe

to my podcast destined for success. At this moment. I have

almost 21,000 individual downloads. So share it. If

you're getting value out of this, leave a comment, leave a

review and share it like share and subscribe. I'm Jennifer

Takagi and I look forward to connecting with you soon