Leadership Keys for the Hybrid/Remote Workplace OR Catapulting Your Career from the Inside Out OR Burnout Be Gone! Keys to Avoid, Identify and Address | DFS 297

Welcome to destined for success. I'm your

host Jennifer Takagi and today's one of my favorite days is PATA

Palooza Day. And we have another amazing guest, Dr. Laura. Dr.

Laura, thank you for joining us and tell me how you show up in

the world.

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Well, it's lovely to be here,

Jennifer, I just love your energy. I think it's really

contagious. How I show up in the world. Well, I like to bring my

true self. I like to be authentic in what I do. But I

also love to bring my expertise as an organizational

psychologist, researcher, business leader, speaker, and

podcaster. As well, as an author, I'd say the thing I

bring is I'm a serial entrepreneur, I can never just

sit still doing any one thing.

I love that. So

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: what is your main focus these days,

and that was an organizational West, organizational

psychologist, psychologist. Wow. So it's a field of psychology

specialized in making organizations and workplaces

better for human beings. That

is so needed. I love that a lot. So what's your

like? Where are you focused right now? Because I love that

you've got multiple things going on and, and your fingers in, but

like what's your favorite thing?

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: My top three favorite things right now.

Number one, my research study and upcoming book on toxic

bosses. I think you

me on that one. Yeah, that's what

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: everyone says, I've worked for one of

those or my loved one works for one of those. And it says it's a

huge catastrophic problem in the world. So I'm super excited to

use my voice, use my skills, etc, to understand at a granular

level, how these horrific bosses work and do their damage on

people, and then how to eradicate it. From an individual

level and an organizational level.

I want to say I had a very horrible situation

going on. So I did what you should do, and anybody listening

who has a toxic boss, if you're an organization that has an

employee assistance program, you need to reach out to them and go

talk to somebody. And so I did. And as I'm talking to this

psychologist, she said, your biggest problem is you share too

much information that she uses against you. And I was like,

what? And she goes, if she asks you for three things on a

report, give her three things. And I said, but I know she needs

10. She goes give her three. If she wants to come back for the

other seven, that's fine, but you did what she asked. You're

being too accommodating. And then she's turning it on you.

And I'm like, wow, my life changed instantly. Wow. Okay, my

boss was not normal. Like, there was there was a button missing

somewhere. And so evilness was like her default. So once I just

started sharing the bare minimum, she didn't have

anything to attack on so

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: and you stayed? How long did you

stay?

Well, it was a total of eight years, but I was

with the federal government. And if I left I would lose all my

retirement and I'd been there too many years for one evil

person to run me out. And and so I did, I left as soon as I could

and have benefits because that was important to me. Yes, I

could have left earlier. But I wanted the benefits that I had

earned. And it all worked out perfectly well in the end. But

that that guidance on how to handle it was just critical to

my emotional well being it was so important. So I love that

you're a psychologist that I love that you're looking into

this. And you're probably going to give a whole lot more

suggestions on how to how to deal with that. So I love that.

So you got your research going on for your book, toxic bosses

coming out soon. Love that one. I

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: want to speak a lot. I'm a speaker as

well. I want to speak a lot on that topic. I speak on other

topics right now that I'm passionate about as well. So I'd

say speaking is number two. I just love being on stages. I

like virtual events too. But my favorite are when I can be on a

stage with an audience and sharing you know different

topics like preventing burnout or how to rock remote

leadership. So how you be an exceptional leader when your

team is is dispersed from you. That's another my topics. I just

yeah catapulting your career to the next level. So I've done a

lot of career development work, and I can speak you know, to the

moon and back on that

Well in. There are a few people who woke up

when they were a little kid and said, I want to be an

entrepreneur, I'm never going to work for anybody. But the

majority of us, even if like I was, I mean, some would say

later in life, became an entrepreneur. But that's not

what I did for a lot of years. So the work that you do is like,

critical for people to be able to, to navigate life and

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: in a happy way. Exactly. And just

seeing someone go from feeling a lack of hope, and a lot of fear

about what's next to having a well crafted, insightful plan

about themselves is just amazing. And then when I hear

from them years later, that that for 15 years, so you hear from

people you helped a decade ago,

and it sticks like it totally sticks, I

figured out very quickly that people that you need to quit

using words with stupid example. I had just flown home and I had

a luggage and the handle does not go down easily. You can't

force it. You just have to pull it out, hold your mouth, right

and try again. And about the fourth time, it just drops down.

It's fine. But if you've watched so I'm getting on the shuttle

bus to my car, and like and I said, Oh, give me just a second.

I have to get this handle down. He goes, I can do it. Let just

let me do it. I do this all day long. And I said, I know you do.

But I know I can. It will go down just handed to me. I will

do it. No, no, because I'm thinking you're gonna break it.

I know you are. So finally I dropped it down. I handed in my

bag, I get on the shuttle bus. And he goes, You know, I do this

every day. And I said, you know, I know you're right. And I'm

totally wrong. I'm sorry. He was like it was like I'm talking to

fight with the bus driver, but I also wasn't gonna let him break

my suitcase.

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: I know exactly. Oh, that's funny.

We all went, we all went okay. Research a

speaker on amazing topics. What's your third best favorite

thing?

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Um, so I wrote two psychological

thrillers. So the first one is called losing Katims. And it

took me eight years to write because I was between having

getting my PhD done having three kids like starting my own

business, there's a lot of distractions. So I would write,

and then I'd stop, and then I'd write and stop, which is a

really inefficient way to write a novel, by the way. But the

idea just came to me the idea just it was like, I was

entertaining myself. And it's about a billionaire abducting

his high school sweetheart. 10 years later, it's been described

as gone, Girl Meets sleeping with the enemy. So lots of

twists and turns and edge of your seat. And then people loved

it. So I wrote the SQL. And the sequel took me 18 months. And

both of them have been out since I think 2016. So it's been a

while 2017. But the exciting part is when I wrote them, I saw

them on film, I said, this has got to be on film. So then a

film producer came into my life. Conroy counter who's amazing. So

we are getting it ready to pitch for a series. So it's not going

to be a feature film, it would be a series of Yeah, so that's

our second book called findings, or sorry. So losing cadence and

finding Sophie. And the interesting thing is, it's all

about, you know, it's possession of women. And, you know, the

violent side of it, like controlling and possessing. And

so Connery actually produced a film called trafficked with

Ashley Judd in it. And traffic is all about the 100 and $50

billion industry of sex trafficking. And so I got really

involved in that, like that movement of how do we create

awareness? And how do we put a stop to that heinous industry?

Now I'm like, on this movement of ending violence against women

and girls, and yeah, so that's my third passion.

Oh, my gosh, well, I'll be sharing this book

with are your books with all my friends, because we're all avid

readers and thrillers are super fun. So yeah, that's a whole new

side of me. But yes, that awesome. I love that. So if

we're your my audience, I believe I have lots of

entrepreneurs. I have some people who work in corporate and

other industries. But what are some keys to success that you

might want to share that we could? Maybe we're aware of that

we can embrace a little bit more and have a little bit more of

that peace of mind and joy and the goodness in the world?

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: I think doing a gratitude practice

every day. So that's how I start my day is with meditation and

journal. So gratitude, even three things you're grateful

for, because the ride as an entrepreneur is really bumpy at

times. And there's some times when you're living in fear,

right? There's all this, oh, my goodness, am I gonna get enough

business in to keep this going? Or will I have to get an actual

full time job again, and they don't really want to because I

love being an entrepreneur. And I've been so 15 years of owning

my own business, but I also have had like three more businesses

during that time, I'd say, yeah, there's some days that are

really tough. So gratitude, number one. Number two is

surrounding yourself with the right people, surrounding

yourself with people who can help you who complement your

weak spots. Like me, not good with numbers don't I don't

remember numbers. I don't like numbers. But I have a heck of an

accountant, a great bookkeeper. And I've learned like how to

relate to my numbers and my financials so much better, but I

still need them. I need people around me I need an assistant to

help keep me organized. And I'm a thinker. I'm an ideas person.

I love being on stages, but the day to day details. And

and there are people who love that they

absolutely love it. Yeah.

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: And my EAA, she loves it. And she's

just great at keeping all the balls in the air, the moving

parts of they call me hurricane Hambly. Sometimes, because I

have so many different things going on at once. Charity

events, businesses, new ideas, three kids, like the film thing

that's going I mean, whatever it is, it's like a hurricane

sometimes, so that you need to calm the hurricane.

I love that. I love that.

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: I know. And it's like kind of

embarrassing, but it's true hurricane Hambly. And then the

third, oh, gosh, there are so many. But I would say keep your

own gas mask on first. So really, the self care is super

important. So if you're not getting enough sleep, if you're

trying to burn the midnight oil on your business, and you're not

getting enough sleep, you're not going to be as good at your

business when your brain is not nourished with sleep, and good

food, exercise and fresh air. All those things that it's like,

yeah, yeah, we know that. But a lot of people know that and they

don't do it. So I think we need to nourish ourselves first. So

we can be put our best foot forward as a leader and an

entrepreneur.

I when I went to college, I had three goals.

And one of them was never made below a 3.0. Because it can be

so hard to bring that grade point average up. And I had a

job and I dated and I had things going on. So 4.0 Never was on my

radar because I didn't really care but above 3.0 mattered a

lot. And pretty much my entire college career. I was in bed at

10 o'clock at night. And I didn't really care what's going

on around me I was in bed at 10 o'clock, because the sleep was

more important than studying to me. I went to all my classes, I

never skipped classes. So you can retain and remember this

stuff if you go to class and participate. But then you've got

to have that sleep. And people minimize that, oh, I only need

three hours. That's a bunch of crap. And that's why you're

cranky. And you say that you don't need sleep you do and

you're cranky. And I wish she'd quit. So I love those three,

they're great. So how are we going to get a hold of you if we

want to learn more? If we want to find out when the film's come

out, like all the cool things for you

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: in a long journey, so knock on wood

Fingers crossed.

We'll do all the things and all the vibes.

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Thank you. So it's Dr. Laura dot live

li ve Dr. Laura all as one word dot live. So that's my website

and my podcast is on there, as well as on all the podcast

platforms, I write a lot of articles and good tips and

tricks and tools and resources. And then I'm on the social media

channels, as well

as Dr. Laura and your podcasts, what's it

called?

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Where work meets life, who it's into,

it's, it's almost done season four, and I'm getting close to

100 episodes. So that's exciting. It's been a labor of

love. But I've gotten some real heavy hitting amazing guests on

there that I've learned from every single episode I learned

from and then I end up getting a whack of books you can see

behind me like yeah, there's like a lot of them have books

and then I ended up reading and learning a lot.

And then incorporating that. Well. This

has been amazing. I've loved our conversation and at the break

I'm gonna have to go get your books because that's like right

up my alley. So

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: yeah, it means so much to me. Thank

you as the psychological thrillers. I mean, I have

business books too. But my new business books going to be

around toxic bosses. So I'm excited about that. Yes.

Because do you do the research on them? Reach

out to me if you want some real life stories, the gratitude

practice is critical. We can find something to be grateful

for. And I find the most people I'm around that are the

crankiest and have the most negative things to say. I'm

going to bet you 100 bucks, and I'm not even a betting person.

They don't have a gratitude journal. They don't take time to

be grateful for all the amazing things in their life. Surround

yourself with the right people. I I've had some younger women

younger than me recently say oh, you know, it's not a fit with my

husband. I'm on this journey and I'm growing and he's not and he

doesn't get it and my position is it's okay that my husband

doesn't get it I surround myself with other people who do so it's

you know, one person can't be your everything because there's

a lot you need a VA you need the assistant who's gonna like put

all your stuff together, CPA Yes, I have one too. And put

your own you said gas mask. I love that put your whole gas

mask on first. Usually it's your oxygen mask and

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: oxygen masks so

totally. Totally fit. Dr.

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Laura for you though. Like my grandpa

were a gas mask in World War One like that's how they survived.

Yeah.

Yeah. And there are a lot of toxic things out

there. So yeah, no, I loved it.

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Toxic leaders who are harming people's

well being and mental health and we got to eradicate that BS.

That is so true. I loved our time together.

I can't wait to connect with you again in the future

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: for you to not miss day. Thank you

so much. You're doing great things for the world. A lot of

people are destined for success if they get out of their own

way.

So true. For our audience, I'm Jennifer

Takagi with destined for success and I look forward to connecting

with you soon. Okay, thanks.