An Inside Out Approach To Freedom & Fulfillment | DFS 336

Welcome to Destin for success. I'm your

host, Jennifer Takagi, and today I have a new friend to introduce

you to dominice Clifton, and Dominique is coming to us from

Baltimore, and I just love your title, Inside Out approach to

success with the 4% formula for consistency. I love that. I want

to hear more. How did you get on this path? Discover this and

like, how can we do it?

Well, thank you for jumping right in, and

thank you for your energy. I'm already loving the vibes here

today, and I know we're going to have a wonderful conversation.

So thanks for having me. Yes. So, huh, this formula. So it

just became a formula very recently. I'll be transparent,

but it's been something that I've been doing for myself for

the last four and a half years now, which I'm really proud of.

And I stumbled upon it, I will say, through a meditation. And

so let's see, back in March of 2020, right around the time that

COVID was just kind of kicking off, and we were getting the

whispers of it, and, you know, we were watching the news every

day to see what was, what was going to happen as the world was

going through this major shift externally, I would say that I

was going through a major shift internally, so within my

household and within my myself, personally, I was on the verge

of my marriage, you Know, not working out well, we've since

separated, but we were, like, really having a hard time. Then

I had a newborn, so she was about three months old, and I

had a three year old, so times were fun, and I had just a few

months before COVID. Quit my job, my full time, nine to five,

and my original plan, after advocating for you know better

maternity benefits, was I'm just going to quit this job and stay

out for six months, take an extended maternity leave, and

then I'll go back to work, and then COVID happened, and we all

know how the world shifted, and people were getting laid off,

and so it wasn't an ideal time to be going back to work. So you

can say that things were a little bit chaotic in my life,

and the only thing I knew to do at that time was to be still. I

didn't know. I didn't have any other answers. I couldn't figure

out how to get out of this wormhole I dug myself into. And

so I just started meditating. And one day, after a few weeks

of meditating, I got this whisper that said, every day for

the next 90 days, focus on your mind, your body and your spirit.

And I can't explain it, but I was really excited about the

download. It was something new. It felt like a challenge. You

know, at that point I was very inconsistent, and so it was. It

was a hard challenge, but I jumped right in. I jumped right

in either that same day or the next day with this daily mind,

body, spirit practice. And Jennifer, at the end of that 90

days, I was completely transformed. I felt like I had a

woke, awaken from a fog that I had been in my entire life, and

I didn't even know I was, like, living that way. It's like,

we're on autopilot and we're asleep, and we don't know it

until we awaken. And that's what it was for me. So it was coming

out of that, and it was almost like, Huh? And I wanted, I want

everyone to know, go ahead. I

love that. I interviewed someone recently,

and she said, prayer is talking to God, meditating is listening

Yes. And so as as I, you know, was pondering that episode, and

what she had to say there, it was like, there's that scripture

Be still and know that I am God. So I, like, I got a little

goosebump going there. That was beautiful. So if, if we're not

quiet, yeah, we can't hear. Mm, hmm, so, ah, okay, I'm sorry. I

just have to swear that. No, no, no, please.

And I had not been quiet up until this point

like I was not. I was, you know, very inconsistent with

everything. And so I will say that those first couple of weeks

when I started, like, it was really hard to do this thing

every day because I had not done anything well, but yeah, I came

out of it, and I was just clear. And I actually started on my

entrepreneurial journey in the coaching world, because I wanted

everyone to, like, feel this. I was like, everyone needs to be

doing this. Everyone needs to know and that was my

introduction to entrepreneurship, to stepping

into my role as a nutrition and wellness coach. And so that

process, I still do that daily process. Now it's been four and

a half years, I have daily accountability, so I'm checking

in with myself daily, and I'll talk a little bit about, like,

some of the shifts that I saw. So I talked about feeling alive.

I lost about 15 pounds, which was big for me, because I've

struggled with my weight for most of my life. But that wasn't

even the biggest shift. The biggest shift was this mental

clarity, right? Just like being clear about who I was, it was

being aware of my thoughts and my beliefs and all of these

limiting beliefs that I held for so long, I was able to start

seeing those. And then I think it was that last piece that you

talked about hearing from God, like hearing from spirit,

feeling very connected to this higher power after feeling

disconnected for a really long time. And so when I talk about

some of the benefits of this practice, of course, like I was

moving my body daily, and so I was releasing stress daily,

which is why I continue to do it, because it's a daily stress

relief reliever. And so it's. That physical and mental

component of, like, mental health, right? I again, like I

was putting positive things into my mind every day with this

mindset piece. And so I was listening to motivational videos

and listening to podcasts such as this. So I was learning a

ton. I started to learn about the subconscious mind and the

way that we process things. And, you know, I was seeing the way

that I've been holding myself back. And then again, that

slowing down piece, it took me out of survival and that fear

state that I had existed in for so long, and it gave me clarity

to hear from my intuition clearly. And so that shifted

everything for me. It was able to help me to really align with

my higher self. And so those are some of the, I would say, major

benefits of this daily practice, this 4% formula.

I love that and and again, your intuition,

you've gotta be still, right? You gotta be still to hear that

inner voice of what you should do so your practice, which I'm

hoping you're going to share a little more about. But how long

does it take? What's my what's my agreement? Good

question. So this is the fun part. So 4%

right? So, okay, let me back up. I talked about mind, body,

spirit, 15 minutes of daily mindset work so that could be

listening to podcasts, you know, anything motivational that could

be while you're in your car driving to wherever you're

going. It doesn't have to be like sitting and doing. I'm

always with my clients. I'm always like, how do we find ways

for this to work with your lifestyle, recognizing that

we're all very busy. It could be while you're in the shower,

while you're getting dressed, just 15 minutes of being very

intentional about what what you're putting into your mind

and also being intentional about what you're consuming. And so

being in being mindful of scrolling social media or maybe

the gossip that's around you, like all of those things that

you take in on a daily basis, sometimes we're not aware of. So

15 minutes of mindset, 15 minutes of spiritual work, or

soul work, and so that's, again, the being still, maybe getting

out in nature, maybe doing some journaling. 15 minutes of that

could be meditation, if that's your thing. And then 30 minutes

of daily movement, moving your body. And that's any way that

feels good to you. So it doesn't have to be going to the gym and

like, you know, doing that sort of thing. It could be swimming,

Zumba dancing, like I've done, you know, dancing with my

daughters in the living room. And counted that as my my

physical movement, going for a walk, so literally, doing

whatever feels good to your body. Now, that comes up to one

hour, right? For the folks that were adding as I was talking and

I sat back, I told you that I've been doing this for four and a

half years, but very recently, it became a formula. I sat back,

and I was like, Okay, so that's one hour and there are 24 hours

in a day. And then I did the math, and I said, Well, how

much? What percentage right of 24 hours is just one hour, and

it's only 4% and so that's where this formula comes from. So

we're really asking folks to dedicate 4% of their entire day,

their entire 24 hours, to nourishing and nurturing all the

parts of themselves. And you can get creative about what this

looks like. And when you do it, it doesn't have to all be done

right back together in one hour. You can break it up. I always

break it up. I never do everything together. And if

you're going for a walk, you can put on 15 minutes of mindset and

like, you know, or 30 minutes. If you're doing a 30 minute walk

and you've done two things at one time, so there's fun ways to

go about hitting your daily targets.

I love that, because there people talk a lot

about your morning routine, and that is, and my morning routine

is, I mean, I've been really bad lately because I love I cook and

I bake a lot, and I get caught up in the Facebook reels of all

the food videos. It's typically not the trash talk, although,

you know, I've had my moments of that, but a lot of it is food

type things and so, but usually I wake up, my feet hit the

floor, and I'm, I'm off to the races. And then you hear people

say, Oh no, before you do anything, you need to drink this

much water and do this, and do this and do this. And I'm like,

holy crap, bully. Now it's like noon, and I've, I've done

nothing. So I love that we have 215 minute increments and then a

30 minute exercise of some sort, because I could do that. I don't

know if you know this about me, but I'm the 12 minute success

coach, because in a four hour increment, 5% of that is 12

minutes. So like, we've got all these things going on together

that we can make happen. So I love that we can do 4% is one

hour, and we can scatter it through the day. That's Yes,

yes. And I always tell my clients, like,

get creative about what it looks like. Again, I work with a lot

of moms, like women who are holding a lot of roles and

responsibilities. And so an hour, right? That can be a lot

of time for some folks, if your schedule is already full. And so

I recognize that, and I want to honor that. And so 15 minutes of

mindset, for example, could be while you're loading the

dishwasher, just like putting something in and being

intentional. I listen to things in the shower sometimes. And so

again, when I'm driving, instead of listening to music, or, you

know, a song, it's like, I'm just going to, you know, pop

something on. That's motivation for for 15 minutes. And so I

definitely encourage Katie. Creative about how you spend

that time. And then the other thing I will say there is that

for the person that's thinking, geez, I don't have an hour, I

have two things to say there. The first one is, if you feel

like you just don't have an hour, then just cut that in half

and start with 30 minutes. So literally, just half everything

and start with 30 minutes, right? What's going to happen,

though, and I feel really confident about sharing this, is

that once you start this daily practice, you're going to start

to feel better. You're going to start to feel more alive, more

awakened, and you're going to want to continue to do this. And

you'll begin to find more time in your day as it becomes

something of value for you. So if you're just like, Nope, don't

have an hour, start with 30 minutes, right? So have

everything, and then go that way. And then the last thing

I'll say, too, is that we also have to be mindful of how we are

spending our time. And so really, we we make time for the

things that we value. And so sometimes that might be our jobs

or our businesses, that might be our children or, you know, all

of their extracurricular activities, or our partners, our

families, like we have all of these things on our schedules.

And then most of the time, especially as women, it's like,

well, if there's any time left in my day, then in my day, then

I'll give that to myself. And we give ourselves those last drops

of our day, usually. And my thing is, we have to be at the

top of that pyramid and really value ourselves. And so start

looking at where you're spending your time, even if a lot of that

time gets sucked into social media, because we know that,

like, five minutes on Instagram is like an hour of real life, it

goes by so fast and so just be intentional about how you're

currently spending your time, and look at what you're

currently valuing and where you can squeeze a little bit more

time in for yourself.

Like that just dovetails in beautifully with

let you know my message that I preach is just carve out 12

minutes and focus on one thing for 12 minutes, because we don't

do that. And so like one client said to me, I didn't know her.

She actually just heard me talk about this on a summit, and she

said, I just thought that was kind of hooey. And I was looking

at my office, it was a disaster. And I thought, Okay, I'm going

to start in this one little corner. And she spent 12 minutes

and got that little corner organized, and she walked out,

it was her home office, and she walked out, and she thought that

was stupid. Like, that was so stupid. And she left, and she

came back the next day, and she was like, wow, that corner looks

really good. I'm going to build in another 12 minutes a day and

do a little bit more. Did it take her a couple of weeks to

get her office cleaned out absolutely, but she was making

progress every day. So I love this. If I can't do 15 minutes

of mindfulness, I can do seven and a half and get started. It's

the Getting Started part, and then you look up and it's been

30 minutes, not seven. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

So being being clever about how we find

that time, I agree, is super important. But those little

small chunks, whether it's cleaning out your office or

being intentional about, you know, pouring into yourself,

those little chunks of time, make a huge difference in how we

feel. Oh

yeah, it just changes everything. Oh my gosh.

This is lovely.

Thank you. It's changed my life. It's one

of those things where, once I got to a point where it was

like, I want to share this out with people. It's like, it's

hard to voice just the amount of benefits that I've gotten from

this. There are two important components, I would say, of this

4% formula. The first one is when it comes to goal

attainment, right? Anytime you think about a goal, there's two

things that really help you achieve a goal. The first one is

repetition, so doing something over and over, you begin to

build a habit the more that you do it. And so this is a daily

practice where you are also being accountable to checking

off that you're doing this every day to make sure that you're

hitting your targets. And the second thing is accountability.

And so that can either be checking in with someone, but I

found it really easy. I have a little like a calendar, a

monthly calendar, that I print out, and I just tick these

things off. And this, this sheet, I switch it out every

month. It's been hanging on my refrigerator for four and a half

years. But what, what I found when I was doing research about

goal attainment is that when you have some sort of

accountability, whether it's self accountability, and some

sort of sheet or something that you take, or if you have someone

that you check in with, it increases your odds of goal

attainment or achievement by 40% by just having some sort of

system in place where you actually hold yourself

accountable and check in and so by repeating this daily, by

having some sort of accountability system, you are

building such solid goals and structures in your life and how

we do one thing is how we do everything. So once you learn to

be consistent here, you then apply that same sort of practice

and structure to your business or your career, and you'll find

that you start to show up as a different version of yourself in

all the areas of your life, not just this one part of your life,

your soul care, practice, right? And so that's what I found to be

really beautiful. I'm much more consistent as an entrepreneur

and a business owner because of this daily practice that I've

built over the last four and a half years.

I love that, and on that accountability

piece, I have colleagues and friends who are like, Oh, I hate

accountability. That's stupid. You have to be accountable to

yourself, which is true that when you share with somebody

else. Else. It just elevates it. Oh, yeah, I quit smoking years

ago, and I had quit 40,000 times in 40,000 different ways, and I

ended up taking the drug Chantix. And I know there's a

lot of controversy around it, but I'm just going to say for

me, that is the only way I quit smoking like that, was it? The

interesting thing about that was I had two choices when I

enrolled in the program and got the prescription. I could have

an accountability phone call, or I could receive an email. And I

thought, I want a phone call, because at work, I get a

bazillion emails. I don't, I don't need any more emails. So I

signed up for a call at seven o'clock in the evening. And

every night, my phone would ring and I would answer it in this,

you know, computer automated voice would say, Hello, this is

Chantix. We're calling to reach Jennifer press one, if this is

Jennifer, two, if it's not, so I would obviously press one, and

they'd say, welcome, Jennifer. Have you taken your Chantix

since our last check in call? Press one for yes, two for No,

yes, I did. Have you smoked since our last check in? Press

one for yes, two for no. I never wanted to press one on that

answer and that, like, that was a solid difference. I knew other

people who took it after I quit, they're like, oh my gosh, if she

can quit, I can quit. I'm going to go get that too. But they got

the emails, and they would open the email and it would say, Oh,

good job. You know, good for you. Whatever you read it, you

move on. But it's a passive, yeah, um, interaction there.

And, like I say, that truly is the only way I quit the drug.

And getting that phone call, and they called me for a year, it

was every day for so many weeks, and then it was twice a week for

so many weeks, and then once a week for so many weeks, and then

it was once a month till the end. But that accountability,

accountability piece before I quit smoking, which that was in

March of 2007 actually, I would have, I would have completely

poo pooed accountability. So whomever's listening and you're

thinking, I'm not really into that accountability piece. Take

it from us like it matters a lot. Yeah,

and thank you for sharing that. I love that

story, and I think it also reinforces that. Another

beautiful thing about accountability is that it builds

momentum. So when you when you hit a streak of doing something,

you're like, just like you said. You're like, I don't want to hit

one, right? When I am seeing on my calendar visibly every day

that I'm doing these things. And now, don't get me wrong, like

I'm human. So there might be a day where it's two out of the

three and not all three, right? I want to, like, be very honest

about that. I haven't been every single day for the last four

years hitting all three. But if I haven't, I have a rule, never

miss twice. And so let's just say I didn't do my physical

movement today. My never miss twice rule means I make sure I

prioritize it for the next day. But seeing me like, there's

something about like, getting my my purple marker, right? I've

been using the same purple marker for the last few years,

getting this purple marker and, like, checking these things off,

ticking it off, it like it there's a dopamine brush there.

Of like, Yeah, I did this thing, and I think it would be the same

for you. Of like, there's a response to that mentally right?

Our brains have a response to us doing this thing and doing it

well, and it makes us want to continue to do it, to stay on

this winning streak. And so that becomes another piece of this

accountability. It's like you can have some it doesn't have to

be a big, huge system that you put into place, but you want to

have something where, whether it's with this 4% formula, or

whatever you're doing, that you're doing that you're

assessing it as frequently as possible, especially if it's

something that you're starting out with. I always, I love the

way that you said they tapered off, like, start daily and then

see if you can kind of wean from there. The other thing is

telling people, right, we are okay with not keeping our words

to ourselves and letting ourselves down. It's like, how

many times, like you said you quit smoking, 40,000 times

before you actually quit? Yeah, how many times have we set a

goal, right? And so we're going to do something, and then we

don't feel like it, or whatever the case, there's something that

comes up, some excuse comes up, and we give up. When you tell

other people you care about what people around you think, right?

The more people you tell, even more pressure. And so I like

that little bit of stretch when you tell someone else or tell

others, because, again, it's going to hold you accountable

and make you more likely. And so if you're if it comes to any

sort of goal attainment, and it's a goal you actually want to

achieve, whether it's financial, business, weight loss, whatever,

you know, quitting smoking, sharing it out, telling other

people, or having some sort of accountability system is really

going to be one of those markers that make the difference between

the success or not,

yes. And when you say you're going to do

something and you don't do it, it is telling your subconscious

she is not a woman who keeps her word yes, this does not matter

to her. Things don't matter. It Like It permeates. Mm. And so

then when you're like, Man, I really need to do this. You

don't have your own internal support system there, so you've

got to build it up. And building it up with other people can help

strengthen that muscle, because you gotta, gotta make it happen.

Oh my gosh, this is awesome.

Thank you so much. What other questions do

you have for me? I can talk all day about this.

I know I Me too, me too, but dang, we have

other things we have to do too. So how do people work with you?

Do you work one on one? Do you have a group? Do you have a

like? Tell us

how? Yeah. Thank you. So I am just jumping

back into well, so I was, I think I shared when I first

started, like, this was my introduction into coaching

because of this process changing my life. And so I was a coach,

you know, a nutrition and wellness coach, couple of years

ago, and I burned myself out. This was before the before 12%

was really a major part of my life. And so I learned, I've

learned so much since then about stress management and things of

that nature. But stepping back into coaching, I've made a lot

of mistakes over the last couple of years as an entrepreneur.

I've learned a lot over the last couple of years, and so I'm

taking all I have, taken all that I've learned, and my own,

you know, lessons from from those setbacks, and I have

stepped into my role as a business coach. And feels really

good to be here. I you know, this mind, body, spirit piece

that we talked about today is such an important part of being

an entrepreneur, because I think it's important for us to to

personally sustain ourselves, so that we can show up as the best

version of ourselves professionally. And so this

foundation is really weaved into my business coaching program.

There's a lot of self discovery, because I think it's important

for us to know who we are, so that we build businesses that

are aligned to who we are. And so I offer a 12 week, one to one

coaching program for women that are either aspiring

entrepreneurs, so maybe they haven't even dipped their toe in

yet, and they want to get started. Or maybe you are a

current entrepreneur, maybe in the earlier stage of

entrepreneurship, but you're not feeling like the business that

you're in is aligned. So you're not feeling fulfilled and happy

in that role. If any of that sounds like you, and you've been

thinking about maybe investing yourself, hiring a coach to help

you out, to hold you accountable. My program

transformation University is a great place to start, and I

would love to support you. If you want to learn more, you can

visit my website, which is Dom, our clifton.com to learn more

and to connect with me.

Oh my gosh, this has been awesome, Dom.

Thank you so much for all your insights as we wrap this up

final words for the audience.

I would say that oftentimes, when it comes

to doing something right, especially when we've tried

before, maybe and it hasn't worked, there's always this self

talk in this chatter about if we're going to be able to do it

or not. And so my biggest takeaway today would be to start

small and build and so whatever it is that you're doing right,

whether you set out 12 minutes to start that thing that you've

been thinking about, or you take that 30 minute chunk of time

that we've talked about and really begin to pour into

nurturing yourself. Start small, start with something that's

attainable, and allow yourself to build. As high achievers, we

can put so much pressure on ourselves to try to do things

and to do them a certain way, but wherever you are, just start

small. Take baby steps, bite that elephant, one bite at a

time, and then allow yourself to build from there.

Oh my gosh. I love this. Thank you for your

time and your thank

you for having me. It's been such a

beautiful conversation.

Thank you. I'm Jennifer Takagi with destin for

success, and I look forward to connecting with you soon. Bye.