Act as if … | DFS 395

Jennifer, welcome to destined for success.

I'm your host, Jennifer Takagi, and today I want to take a spin

around the conversation of last week, and that is on Tabitha

Jones talk on be promotion ready, proven strategies to be

ready for that next promotion, that next thing in life. And I

want to take this along the course of act as if, so that's

what I'm going to call this episode. Act as if. Act as if

you already, you already what you already are, the person you

want to be your future self in my 12 minute gift. Com, and

that's one two for the number 12 minute gift.com. The I in the

win formula is imagine the future. And you need to imagine

your future with great detail with a lot of specificity. And

what is it going to look like when you wake up? How are you

going to feel when your feet hit the floor? What do they touch?

Is it dirt? Do you want to be out camping under the stars? Is

it tile? Because you're in a really warm climate, and so

everything's tiled, so something is cool, or do you want to step

onto a nice plush carpet? I mean, take your day all the way

back. One time, I was working in Washington, DC for an entire

summer, and I had the privilege of staying at the Willard Hotel

on the government dime because they had a government rate. It

was amazing. And my husband came to spend a long weekend with me.

It was over Fourth of July, which Fourth of July in

Washington, DC, is spectacular in and of itself. And we had

gone out on Fourth of July seeing the fireworks, super fun

night on Friday night, I mean, on Saturday and then Sunday

morning, I wanted to go to this really expensive, amazing

brunch. And my husband kept saying, That's too expensive.

We're not going we're not going well, he proved me right,

because he stayed in bed till like, two in the afternoon,

like, Wouldn't even wake up. Finally, I started shaking him,

and I was like, Bill, you have to get up. We have to get out.

It's Fourth of July weekend in Washington, DC. We live in

Oklahoma City like we need to enjoy this. We may never be here

again. And he opened his eyes, and he looked at me, and he

said, This is the most comfortable bed, and these are

the most comfortable sheets I've ever slept on in my life. I want

to know

how you get up and go to work every day. How do you do

that? And it was like, Yes, and I stayed in some really nice

hotels on the government dime, because the government has a

lowered rate, and the hotels would honor that rate when it

was a business trip. I love nice hotels. I don't mind staying at,

you know, a Holiday Inn, even in Motel Six. If they're clean and

nice, I'm fine with that too. But if I have the opportunity to

stay at a nice hotel, I can just own it. And in the fall of 2024

the month of October, actually, I spent the whole October in the

south of Spain, and we had the most beautiful Airbnb right on

the Mediterranean Sea. It was spectacular. And when you get an

Airbnb for a whole month, the price plummets. So let me just

tell you it cost me and my friend. I think it was about $85

a day a piece to stay in this beautiful apartment. And we

decided that since we got a great deal on the apartment,

that we would travel a little bit, and if we needed to stay in

a hotel, no big deal. We would stay in a hotel. So we went to

where did we go? We went to Granada, Spain because we wanted

to see Alhambra have dinner at this spectacular restaurant that

overlooked the city. When the lights started coming on and we

had no hotel reservations, we had no idea where to go, and my

friend Kimberly has this app, and it has hotels. And she was

like, Well, if we go this way and we're walking along the

streets of Granada, dragging our bags with us, trying to find a

place to stay. And she goes, Oh, here it is, like we turned a

corner and there was a hotel. We walked in, we walked up to the

counter. We asked if they had a room. They said, yes, she has

her phone. And she was like, is it going to be this much? And

they said, No, this much. Well, we were speaking euros and

dollars, so we had to, like, get that squared away on what, what

denomination of money we were talking about. Yeah, and they

ended up being the same. So we were great. I'm hot. It has been

really hot. We've been walking for, you know, it seemed like

forever. It probably wasn't. It was probably just a couple

miles, but it was hot and I was miserable. And they have these

beautiful water dispensers that were glass water dispensers, and

one had like lemon, and one had cucumber, and they had beautiful

glass, not paper cups, glass. And so while she's finishing up

getting us checked in, I guzzled several of these glasses of

water, and when she finished up, we turned to go to the elevator

to go find our room. And this, this hotel was spectacular. It

was beautiful. It was marble. It was gorgeous and and it was

reasonably priced, especially since we were there on a

weekend, and we start walking to the elevator. And I turned to

her, and I said, Yeah, this is the kind of hotel we stay in,

and we did, and we often do. I travel with her for business a

lot, and we often end up with great deals on really nice

hotels. And I enjoy that. I took a class on how to have a VIP day

with a client. Really get a great breakthrough with a

client. If, if you want to know more you know, just click the

button and book a discovery call. But one of the things she

said was, if you're holding it at a hotel, if you're having

your breakthrough session at a hotel, and you've not been into

really nice hotels, go to the hotel first. A lot of times, the

people at the door are the same, like they they're permanent

employees. Get to know them. Get to know the people at the front

desk. Spend a little bit of time just sitting in the lobby. The

lobby of the Willard Hotel is spectacular. There is a huge,

huge round table. I think it might have a marble top, and

they have a flower arrangement that's like, three or four feet

tall. So you walk in and here's this just gorgeous lobby. It's

spectacular. And it takes your breath away a little bit. And

it's not that I became callous to it, because every time I

walked in and had that feeling of, ooh, this is this is

beautiful, like I'm appreciating these gorgeous flowers, Fourth

of July, by the way, they were all red, white and blue. It was

spectacular. But I knew I belonged there. I had been there

so many times. I belonged there. I showed up on Mondays. I left

Friday mornings. They knew me. I was there consistently. I fit

in. If you want to act as if you're ready for the next level,

you have to be accustomed to being in surroundings of the

next level. Is it hanging out in a hotel lobby and having a soft

drink or an alcoholic beverage, either one, where you can really

become comfortable in that surrounding? Do you want a new

car? Do you want a new car and you almost can't see yourself in

that car. Go to the car dealership, tell them you want

to see that car with all the bells and whistles. Don't scrimp

and sit in the car. Get the feel for the car. What is that

steering wheel feel like? Is it wooden? Does it have leather

wrapping. Is it a whatever kind of other material steering

wheels are, I want to say some kind of rubber, plastic. That's

hard. I've I've had all of the above. And like cars over the

years, like, what does it feel like? And does that matter to

you? I have a friend who always says the only purpose of a car

is get point A to point B, and I believe that, but I also believe

I want to get from point A to point B in some comfort. I want

heat. I want air conditioning, right? I want I want air

conditioned and heated seats. There are some things that, over

the years, I've come to enjoy. So what kind of car is it? Have

them take your picture standing with the car like it's your new

car. You have to start believing in your future self, who you

want to be. When I first started my career, I have two older

sisters, and my oldest sister said you need to dress according

to the person above you for the next position you want. Dress

like the person in the next position that you want, which

that's a little hard on Zoom these days, with a lot of people

working virtually a lot of the What's it. Acceptable at work

has changed, and, you know, dropped down to a minimal, if

non existent level. But when I was coming up, women wore suits,

skirts, pantyhose, oh, the dreaded pantyhose and pumps,

like, that's just what you wore. And I was in mortgage banking, I

dressed like that every day. It just was routine, like I had my

eight or nine outfits that I rotated through. And when I went

to the federal government, they used to tease me because I

always had on a dress, and they're like, Jennifer, do you

own pants? Well, I did, but I wore what I had as I started

replacing clothes I had pants more in my repertoire, and then

I went to pants like almost exclusively, but I looked like

my boss, as in the dress. I could walk in any meeting at any

time and sit in for my boss because I looked appropriate.

And I just want to say I had some colleagues who did not make

that same choice. They didn't. I had one colleague and I begged

and pleaded, quit. Quit looking like you're going to Walmart on

a Saturday in jeans and a T shirt with holes in it. Please.

Quit wearing that. We didn't have a dress code, but she

wasn't going to switch, right, like that's what she wanted to

wear, and it was a long time before she got promoted. You've

gotta work really, really, 10 times harder to overcome the

impression you make when you walk in a room, when you walk

into a business meeting. So dress, act as if you already

have it, if you as if you already belong, if you walk in

that country club stumbling around like, Oh my God, I don't

know what to do. I don't know how to be here,

then you're not ever going to feel comfortable there. So I

urge you, what kind of vacation Do you want to go on? If it

isn't a nice hotel, go hang out in a nice hotel in your town

again, even if it's just in the lobby or possibly in the bar.

Like, get used to that area. You want to go to a really cool

restaurant that's really ridiculously expensive and

you're not sure, like, how that's going to go. Go have an

appetizer. Just tell the waiter, I just want to have an

appetizer, and then go check out the menu before you go do a

little research, find out what you like. You might decide

that's not for you. That means nothing. You don't want to do

it. That's not where you want to put your time or your resources,

and it may not be for you and you might not want to do it. I

had a friend recently say, Oh, I would have never gone to Spain

for a month without my husband, because I can't imagine

traveling without him. And I said, Well, I never imagined

traveling without mine. But when I asked him if he wanted to

travel, he said no. And I said, I hope you don't mind that I'm

going to. And he said, That's great. You go. I don't want to.

So that's not his dream life. Do we vacation together? Yes,

several times a year we vacation together. Do I vacation a little

bit more than he does sometimes, but I turn every business trip

into a vacation, whether I'm only there for the conference or

not. I make it all fun because that's the life I want to live.

So act as if you already have the life that you want. Act as

if you already live in the neighborhood where you want to

live. Act as if you already have the car that you want. Start

focusing on what you want in the future and how you want to feel

when you get there. How do you want to feel if you're

uncomfortable and the clothes are itchy and you don't like

that snooty person that holds a door for you, that may not be

for you, and that is perfectly fine, pick the life that you

want to live and live into it. Live into what you want your

life to be again when your feet hit the floor, do you want it to

be a dirt floor because you're sleeping under the stars or

grass? That's your choice. What? What's your dream? Your dream is

for you. My dream is for me. Have the experiences, test out

the waters, find out what it's like to sit in that new car, or

you might like vintage cars. Sit in that vintage car, whatever it

is you have the opportunity to live the life of your dreams.

You're destined for more success than you've ever envisioned. And

start now. Start with something small. Start with a restaurant.

Start with a hotel lobby. Start with checking out cars at the

car dealership. Start acting as if you already lived the life.

Of your dreams. I'm Jennifer Takagi, and I look forward to

connecting with you soon. You.