Priorities Unveiled: An Inside Look at Living an Authentic Life with Jonathan Dunn

Dr. Cliff Fisher: Here's what needs to be subtracted on that one. Like for me, what comes up for me is what we say no to is just as important, if not more important to what we say yes to all right tribe Welcome to awaken greatness with Dr. Cliff Fisher. And Jonathan Dunn, brought to you by Dream Leadership Institute where we awaken greatness, give you the tools to find and create your greatest self, and raise the consciousness of the planet. I am so excited today to be here with John D. We're talking about one of our fundamental drills that we talk about. And it's really talking about the priorities because I think priorities for the most part, like people say what their priorities are, but that's not how their bank account rolls or that's not how their their calendar looks. So John D, I'd love to dive into priorities. You know why those are important. I just asked you, you know, why are you such a grinder and you went right to the priorities. And so I just, I think it's a great place to kick this off.

Now, and, you know, a great place to kick this off is a story I heard about this about 15 or 16 years ago, I was watching Darren Hardy. I know you're you're a fan of Darren youngest editor ever of Success Magazine. And he was telling a story of when he first became editor. He wanted his first episode to be Richard Branson. And he called Branson on the phone and said, Hey, rich. Bernardi here, like to throw you on my first ever episode of Success Magazine. Here's what it would look like you come to San Francisco, take about 90 minutes, we'll pay you and I'm just throwing out this figure. But it was a big figure. I think $500,000 To which Branson says no chap can't do it. You know, these guys are dealmakers. So Hardy says to him, Well, how about we'll fly the Success Magazine jet to you pick you up at Necker Island, We'll fly you back to San Francisco. We'll get it done in 60 minutes has 1.5 million sound to which Branson said sorry, chap can't do it. So, you know, he pulls out the big guns there and goes, Okay, we'll come to Necker Island, we won't take up more than 30 minutes of your time. What does the check need to have written on it? To which Branson replied and I believe this to be whole heartedly true. chap, I love success. I love that you're the editor. But there is no amount of money, I'll do it for I built version on the philosophy of you can never have more than three priorities going at any one time. If you have more than three priorities, you in fact, have zero priorities, something important is suffering, and you'll never build your brand. That way, I wholeheartedly believe it to be true. As you know, for 15 years, I owned a wellness facility in Winter Park. And I would ask everyone who came in the door because I wanted to add value to their lives. I believe that is something humans should always want to do add value to another human beings lives. And to me, the best way to add value was to know what was important to the other people. So I would put people in my office, I would ask them to write their list. And I will usually walk in about 10 minutes later. And Dr. Cliff, what do you think most of the pieces of paper had on

Dr. Cliff Fisher: as far as what their priorities were?

Yeah. What do you say most of the papers had on there? There's no wrong answer here.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: I think though most of them had on their like, what I keep hearing is God, their health, their spouse or partner, their family, kids, and then their job. You would

be wrong, kind sir. Those sheets of paper look like snow. In other words, it was still white. And the vast majority of the people said, Wow, that's a really great question. No one has ever asked me that before. And that's why, to quote Henry David Thoreau written over 150 years ago, most men most women will lead lives of quiet desperation. As Branson said, My brand is never more than three priorities. That's why the vast majority of the public's brand name is quiet desperation. Because Dr. Cliff, it's a rare human being who has ever become crystal clear on what their priorities are. And it's even more of a rare thing. When you find someone who is actually aligned with it. Fact, you want to play a quick game for the audience that will love this lead and err. Amen. Okay, hey, by the way everyone does sit in, scripted out. He doesn't know this is coming here. Dr. Cliff audience, how many days per week? Would you like to live the life of your dreams?

Dr. Cliff Fisher: Seven? AUDIENCE That's

what everyone tells me seven days a week. And thus, Dr. Cliff, would it be arguable that one of people's priorities would be their dreams? Yes. Okay. Now, if you serve a 100 people who all answer dreams seven days a week. Now, they never list one of their priorities are distractions. What you said earlier was correct. Like for the people who do get clear on it, you know, God, my career, my health relationships, you know, et cetera, et cetera. But no one in the history of the world has ever said, one of my priorities, or this distractions maybe. So the people say, I want to live the life of my dreams seven days a week, and you say, Hey, how many hours do you spend each week? dedicated to that dream life? Now? Dr. Cliff, this is a small sample size, we probably call it at least over 1000 people. Yeah. What do you think the median answer is? For how much time people a lot to living the life of their dreams seven days a week. And we're talking the median time over the course of an entire week.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: So my, my guess is three to four hours. Okay,

you're not far off. And everybody like I'm really asking you right now. Because these podcasts are all about you and adding value to your life. The median answers about two to three hours. Okay, now, you know, this is a hot button topic for me, but I won't go on a rant here.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: No promises.

How many hours per week do you think people spend on their distractions? So just imagine these people who are so obsessed with like watching sports on the weekend, how long an average game is,

Dr. Cliff Fisher: I think three, three and a half hours. So

Right. And this is just like one day, you know, people are like, I get the morning game. I get the mid game, I get the late game and who we they have night games now. And they have games on Thursdays and they have games on Mondays. So the average median answer for how much time people spend on distractions 20 to 25 hours a week, everybody gets a screen time report on their phone. And you know, damn well, for most people is saying you know, 1015 2025 30 hours. And you quickly start to understand why this is one of the most important topics in society right now and why so many people are miserable. To quote Logan Roy, from the hit television show succession. To you people out there who are spending more time on your distractions than you are on living your dreams. Quote Logan, Roy, you want serious people. You know one of the things that you'll find through working with Dream leader Institute as where your partner's crossing the finish line. It's not really that challenging at the end of the day to accomplish crazy dreams. We've just got to help you get the math in your favor. And that is the subject of today's episode. Priorities, by the way, which also represent your brand name. What is your brand name right now? What's your trademark? What's your life stand for red importance stuff. And that's the first thing we want you to do is take out that white sheet of paper. And we want you to write down what are the six to 10 most important things to you in the whole wide world. In fact, on the worksheet we use in our manual, we actually list examples. And the reason we list examples is because if you don't list examples, you end up with the blank sheets of paper. So go ahead, pause the podcast right now. Write out the six to 10 most important things to you in the whole wide world. And by the way, everyone, this is going to be a two part episode not because we're trying to leave you with a cliffhanger. But what we're going to do the next time is teach you how to put all of it in harmony, because work life balance. It's a bullshit fake term. But this is step one today. Okay, so a little pause there. Welcome that you've got your six to 10 most important things in the whole wide world. Now, Dr. Cliff, is there anything you'd like to add at this point before we go into the next phase?

Dr. Cliff Fisher: I think the biggest thing that this priority drill does and the purpose that we're spending this time on is is to make the invisible visible.

Yes. Okay, so now we're gonna do something really bizarre here. And just make some people feel uncomfortable, but that's all right. Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone. Neale Donald Walsch said that, we want you to look at those six to 10 things that you have written there and pick what is the number one most important thing out of that entire list? What is the true number one, and by the way, they're all important we get what is numero uno? Okay, start a separate list, right number one, the number one and put that priority and then cross it out out of the book list. Okay, then we want you to draw number two under the number one, and we want you to look at the remaining priorities. And with what's left, pick the new number one, bring it over to the number two column, cross it out on the master list. Then, what we want you to do is under the to write a three, a four, a five and a six. And we want you to follow that same ordering principle till you have your top six priorities. And what would you say if I told you that after doing this drill and really practicing at it, you will be able to eliminate the idea of overwhelmed from your vernacular, because overwhelmed is a choice by someone who doesn't understand prioritization. Okay, so take a couple minutes, go through that till you've got your top six. Then maybe you see a few items leftover in the scrap heap. And you're like, oh, what's he want me to do with ace? And I say, Well, I just got to be honest with you. They're in the scrap heap. I know if you're honest with yourself, right now you can see certain areas of your life suffering. Because the fact of the matter is, we all have 24 hours, seven days for a grand total of 168 hours. And that's it. And mathematically, when we do phase two, on the next episode, you will see Johnny's not crazy, I really can't have more than six priorities now. Branson with this three, by the way, he was talking about professional priorities. Okay, three. Okay, now, Dr. Cliff, I know you have that second page pulled up. And what we really want to do here is if you would go through the reflections of the dying on the top, because at DOI when we do priorities with people for the first time, there was a very valuable book called the reflections of the dying, written by an Australian hospice nurse that interviewed 1000s upon 1000s of people who were in their last days. And these were the regrets they had, which typically correlate big time into your list of six priorities.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: Yeah, I think that's such a important thing. So the reflections of the dying is the first the one the first one was courage to be true to the self. I think so often, we're trying to be somebody that we're not to impress somebody that we don't care about, to whatever that looks like. There's so many things around that. Right.

And by the way, how does that connect back to the priorities? Looking at your list of six? Yep. Okay. That's what you're saying that of your whole life are the six most important things in the whole wide world. And as Dr. Cliff mentioned earlier, your true priorities are how you spend your time and money. So encouraged to be true to yourself is true to those priorities all receiving an A grade, by the way, that's where real happiness lives. But go ahead get the second one. All

Dr. Cliff Fisher: right. Second one was regretting regretted working too much.

Yeah, you know, interestingly enough, this is probably a topic for another day. You do spend you know, by the time you sleep, and work at about two thirds of your life gone. You'll learn that and phase two air. And when we set up dream leader, we said Hey, you know, what would a 10 out of 10 look like? And the fact of the matter is this, you know, this might offend a few people, because you're not there yet. But we can bring you there. And that's working about 30 hours a week. Maybe 40 on it. But there's a lot of people out there whose whole identity is tied up into the work they do. And which would then signify, then when you're not doing that work? You're a nobody. And that's not true. So as you listen to this right now, in a perfect world as the greatest version of yourself, how many hours per week would you really be working out of that one's

Dr. Cliff Fisher: some of the pushback that I get with that one, too, is like, Oh, I'm working to provide a lifestyle for my family. And I think, you know, that's just one of those, you just really have to, like, Oh, my, my family needs all this stuff. And they don't need that stuff. They need that person home, they need that person present and with them.

Look, there's nothing I can add to what you just said, it's just one of the many lies of society. What your family needs is your emotional support and your love. If you're trying to keep up with the Joneses, you're lost, and you don't even know it just yet. If you really ask people what are the best memories of their lives, which would be another fun drill that is Sunday, automatic versus voluntary thinking, the best memories from people's lives always have to do with quality time and the love languages. And no one ever said the greatest memory of my life is when I got myself in deep debt to buy that Mazda harati. So that I could be the biggest badass on the block.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: So why that's awesome. All right, and then the next one is be more authentic with feelings.

Once again, just looking down at the priorities, and looking at there's some relationship component down there. And is it an A grade, and part of the a grade is surrounding yourself with people who you can do be truly authentic with and not putting a mask on. That's what you want life into people who are encouraging each other to reach their potentials and, and really living out their dreams. So that's how that one connects to priorities.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: And I think this is one of the things we've talked about it before, but more encouraging friendships. So who are you surrounded by?

Once again, how many people in your life do you know their list of six priorities and are truly adding value versus being a taker. And I know what Dr. cliffs priorities are, and I'm constantly encouraging him in that direction, even in fact, on Saturday, I took the time out of my day to call him to teach him how to sue via steak, because I wanted to add value to his life. And that was the encouragement that day. That was

Dr. Cliff Fisher: one of the best steaks, that was my first attempt. So I'm confident that I'm gonna do this rib, I will have my best steak I've ever had. And that leads right into let themselves be happier. Okay,

by the way, this is the big one. This is the main reason why this list is there. If you look at your six priorities, and all of those were in an A grade, would that represent maximal happiness? And the answer is typically, yes, it would. But the fact of the matter is, most people have never even identified their priorities. And they're in that state that is so popular in the United States of America, for me to be happy, it's more and more and more and more and more. And the fact of the matter is to believe you need something you don't have to be happy, that is as good of a description of insane as you'd ever want to know. And it's like how about you get what you have right first, and then worry about more. We will help you get your priorities locked in loaded, but doing the list. It's not enough. We then have to teach you that a reflective life as an effective life. And we're going to now bring you through some questions and have a little bit of dialogue. Now that you've gone this bar, which by the way, congratulations to you. Sadly, most people in this world will never identify what's truly important to them and be aligned with it. So

Dr. Cliff Fisher: critical. And so the first question are your priorities really your priorities? Yeah,

and that's back to what Dr. Cliff said earlier. Okay, it's one thing to say Your priorities are your priorities. But how are you really spending your time? How are you really spending your money? And back to the question? Are you spending more time on your dreams or more time on your distractions? Okay,

Dr. Cliff Fisher: double click on that.

It's a big one. It's just we're just honest. Yeah. Okay.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: And this is a huge one, this is a huge gut punch, you know, do your priorities know, they're your priorities. Okay, by the way.

And Dr. Cliff knows this. My number one priority is God. And we're respectful of all faith backgrounds. And my number two priority is my health, which is greatly connected to one. My third priority is my wife, Jennifer. But if you went up to Jennifer, and this is how, you know if your priorities are in their priorities. If you went to Jennifer and said, hey, you know, your husband, you know, one of the founders of DOI and all these things going on, but you made his priority list. And she'd say, I know. God, number one, but damn, I feel like number one. So maybe somebody needs to bring him through it. But if the people in your life would not respond similarly. It's not where it needs to be. I'm sorry to tell you. You know, none of us is even guaranteed tomorrow. So quit thinking next week, I'll do it or tomorrow, I'll do it. Show. Don't tell him either, by the way, because very few people's love language is words of affirmation. Well, not few. I mean, a lot is, but show him how much you love him and make that your daily ritual. And you'll be living large piles. Let's go to the next one. All

Dr. Cliff Fisher: right. I think this one's really connected to that. And so how high are your standards? Okay,

fascinating topic. And by the way, this is one of Anthony Robbins main things in his classes. 2023 got, you know, a month and a half left, raise your standards 2024. Raise your standards, what are you really capable of? But as you look at your own list, okay, by the way, health is a good one here. My health is a priority. Okay. So go ahead, look down towards your private areas. And what would you see if you were naked? Would you see your private areas? Or would you see your stomach, and if you see your stomach, it means you need to raise your standards. Ask yourself every year, these priority, this is my brand name as a human being. Is this the year I need to raise my standards, be an A player and surround yourself with a players. Because your priorities are who you are to the world. That's your message to the world. And

Dr. Cliff Fisher: you know that on the health thing, because so many people are looking for health on the outside and health is on the inside. And we have totally changed our standards and our health is not static. Our health is dynamic. It's either you're either getting healthier, or you're getting sicker. There's nobody who's staying the same. Yeah, well, you

know, we won't turn this into a political talk. But if you're someone listening to this, who really wants to end the deep state, be healthy? Yes, hospitals require sick people to be in business. You want to see the pharmaceutical companies go down and burning flames. Be healthy. Quit giving them your money. Yeah. You know, part of your health as well as your mental health. This would be the best way to end the deep state turn off all the news. Yeah, watch what your health does. Raise your standards. Once again, are you spending more time on your dreams or on watching the news? Are you spending more time on your health or eating bonbons? But let's go ahead and go to the

Dr. Cliff Fisher: next question. Would you like more times for your priorities?

Okay, this is where I always go on a rant at the live events by the way and people love this. Okay, cuz you'll be amused. So Dr. Cliff first off to the audience. Dr. Cliff, what's your answer? Do you want more time for your priorities? Dr. Cliff, what do you think basically 100% of the people say yes. 100% Say yes. Outside of the rare per filling person who doesn't say yes are the ones who got into DLA coaching and it's all locked and loaded in the kill zone. And I say okay, here's the rent. You bought by the way you people told me you want more time for your priorities. Okay, I'm guessing then as you look down, you didn't have being on Facebook is a priority. You didn't have being on Instagram as a priority. You didn't have tick tock as a priority. You didn't have video games as a priority. You didn't have watching grown men develop brain injuries on a son day after noon, on your priority list, getting drunk at a bar being addicted to pot looking at porn having affairs on your wife or your husband? I'm guessing no one had any of that stuff written down on their priority list. No. So if you really want more time for your priorities, then subtract out that shit. Otherwise, you're not a serious person. And by the way, that's the vast majority of society. And that's why so many people are leading a life of quiet desperation. By the way, am I saying that stuff can't have any space? Well, that the drugs and alcohol in affairs No, that never has any space. But like, get your life right, get those six priorities locked in and then see what you have room for. And the fact of the matter is, when your priorities are really locked and loaded, and there, you probably won't want to have any interest in any of that stuff. Anyways.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: Yeah. And the next question, I love this one, and I think it's so critical, is what needs to be subtracted. And yeah, on that one, like, for me, what comes up for me is what we say no to is just as important, if not more important, to what we say yes to.

And I agree, look, I studied hundreds of people. And it blew me away of how many people said the greatest talent they ever learned in their life was saying no. And it is if something doesn't help you be your greatest self and awaken your greatness. Say no to it. Remember, you just told Dr. Cliff and I you want more time for your priorities. So if what you're about to do isn't a priority, say no to it. And by the way, you also kind of subconsciously said I want to live the life of my dreams seven days a week. So if the stuff you're doing doesn't help you get there, then say no to it. And by the way, I haven't ever found a person who went watching television help me live the life of my dreams. Very. All right,

Dr. Cliff Fisher: so wrap up. And so what are your reactions to this exercise? I think this is like that space jhandi. And I know you've seen this 1000 times, you know, what are people's reaction to this.

Usually, it is a gut punch, because they realize, you know, we all get about 4000 weeks of our life. And they realize a lot of those weeks have been transacted not being aligned with the priorities. But that's alright, by the way. Like we live in a world where people want to pretend to there's no truth. And that would be incorrect. There are many truths. And it's also liberating, because you say for the remaining weeks of my life that I had to transact back to the universe, I'm going to spend them being aligned with my priorities, I'm going to be a man or a woman on common in this world. And I'm going to teach this to all the people I know. So that before they asked me to do something, they're going to know where I stand, because that's how it should be within relationships as well.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: I love that. And so what are some other ways you can use this exercise?

Look, everybody and I would love like book a call with us, we're not going to try to sell you something like, have a condo with us, we're real people, we've had the same struggles as you. And then some, this is one of the favorite ways, you know, I have this master get to do list on my desk. And it's kind of filled with things that we need to do collectively to grow the dream leader Institute. And one of the things I do, because we all have a bandwidth that's connect what you're going to learn in the next the next thing, how to how to lead your bandwidth, I pull the things out that need to be accomplished this week, to you know, have a productive week. In one of the things I do you know, my last alarm clock of the day is labeled be a world class dad and a world class husband. So right before I stepped back into that life after working, I look at my priority list of work items, and I go, that I do everything I can. Is there anything that's just burning a hole that has to be done, right? And I look at that every time. And what that allows you to do is not think about work when you're with your loved ones, and boil boy, what a great gift that is to them. And yet another way you're showing them they're a priority. So that's one of the many ways I use it. I have my life priorities. And then I have the you know, the week by week work priorities that have to get done, so that we can raise the consciousness and awareness of the planet. And we'd love to have a talk with you about a variety of other ways. You just got to you know, go to our website and book a call. And man we will have so much fun talking to you. Awesome.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: So below, there'll be a place you can click a link we're going to include this whole drill so you guys will have that and then tune in for next week because we are going to go in about how do we create a work life harmony so John D Thanks for your genius thanks for doing this I appreciate you and you guys go get your priorities straight and live with that be present with who you're with and you'll see your whole life changing you'll get the your dream life thank you very much.