Ask the Expert: Drop the Hustle, Lead with Grace with Theresa Lambert

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Hi, I'm good. How are you? I'm so happy to be here with you. So yay.

I'm so excited that you're here too. So today we're doing an Ask the Expert interview with Theresa. So let me guys tell you a little bit more about Theresa so she's a best selling author of achieved with grace a guide to x elegance and effectiveness in an intense workplaces. She's a business and success coach, speaker and podcast co host to dissecting success. We've met Blair Caplin Venables, who's her co host on that show already. And on this podcast, so they have this amazing podcast called dissecting success. So Teresa founded her coaching consulting firm Teresa Lambert coaching consulting, Inc, to coach women entrepreneurs, leaders to create the next level of success with more elegance, and create the impact income and freedom they desire without struggle. So we're really gonna dive into this today. And so Teresa's background comes from over 20 years of experience in the hospitality industry. She lives in Whistler BC, which is an amazing place. I was just there a few days ago, and has recently, her most recent tenure was at as the general manager of the Nita Lake Lodge, she brings both the real world and proven applicable tools to support her clients. So Tracy has also been recognized as a leader and whistlers profile of X was featured in hotelier magazine, thrive global and authority magazine, and spoken at women in hospitality leadership events, including empower her. So welcome, Theresa, thanks for joining us.

My God. Thank you. I'm so excited to chat with you today about leading with more Christ and leaving the hustle and the struggle behind because, yeah, I feel like that's the future. Let's just put that right in the front.

Yeah, I agree to I feel like this is the new the new thing that before it was like I was hustling and grinding, like, you got to prove that you're working so hard. No, now and it gets we need to prove that we're doing it efficiently effectively. And without the struggle and nine grace, I think it's such a great powerful world. So how did you discover this in your business, and in your, in your work experience to really want to bring this to something to the world and the rest of the women entrepreneurs out there that are doing that hustling grinding stuff?

Yeah, like, I feel like I grew up with that, you know, early bird catches the worm mentality. And that if you want to get somewhere in life, and in your career, you're going to have to keep your head down and work hard and never give up and just keep grinding until you get to where you want to go. Which, you know, it's not such bad advice. You know, I feel like that there is some parts of that, that I can get behind. But so it's, um, it brought me up to be a very ambitious high achieving women, and I was gung ho for my goals, and I'm very well known for the past and that you go to when you want to get shit done fast. So that kind of became a bit of my brand. And I was very proud of it for a really long time, I became a GM at 29. So super young, of a luxury boutique hotel that was at the point, not in the best state, I would say, to say it in a nice way. And so I took on that role. I just seen a couple of gems come and go in my time that I was there. I honestly was like dis, I don't know, like where this is going like I kind of thought I probably have about 12 months, and then I'll probably get the axe and I'm like, I figured the likelihood of that was much higher, but I've always been a person not when opportunities come. It's like if you throw me a ball, I will catch it and I'm gonna run with it and I don't make it mean so much if it goes wrong, and that's something that now in entrepreneurship, I'm anchoring in more and more like I you know, you got to be willing to fail in order Get it right. And so I took on the role and turns out I was really good at it. But I put everything I had into it, I was always switched on, like literally 24 seven, you know, in an industry to that never sleeps, whether it was high expectations, quick turnaround, I got lost in the doing. And so about three years into that role, we were incredibly successful, the business was going we've been doubling the workforce, like revenues were increasing, like at a rapid pace. That was actually to get to where I first got was part of an interview in hotel you magazine, which is huge for hotels.

Like it's huge, like, if you're not familiar with that, that was like, so big for me career wise. But I was very struggling at that point to keep it together. And, you know, in the hospitality were taught that when there was a fire in the kitchen, nobody knows. So I became a master of like waking up putting on a mask, you know, and just monitoring through my day and just be like, No, I'm gonna do it. And so the problem is, the more you push against exhaustion, the more you push against your own, you know, energy and trying to keep up your own ridiculously high expectations that are really unrealistic expectations of yourself, the more resistance you create, and actually, the bigger the struggle gets. So while we're thinking that the more time we put in, and the faster we do things, and the more things we get done, the faster we're going to get to the other side of that we're actually doing the opposite. And it's getting worse and worse and worse. And so I burned out. And part of the thing with burnout and I didn't know this back then, I didn't even know I was burned out because five that was five years ago now nearly isn't that crazy time goes by so fast. But that wasn't the time that was really used a lot at all, like now I hear it all the time. And I'm like, Oh, it's so funny, because now I'd be like, Oh, yeah, I must be in burnout. But it's also become a bit of a fashion thing. Oh, yeah, I'm just burnt out. And I think that's a very dangerous, you know, route to go down. But very much for me busy was a badge of honor. You know, I believe that if you're a successful person, leading a large, you know, multi million dollar organization with a big team, you're just busy. That's just the way it is right? Like that comes with responsibility and power and success. And so the mindset, you know, that we're in, at this level of success is vt was something that made me feel really curious. And at the same time, I was struggling to, to keep it all together. You know, sleeping, but waking up feeling even more tired than when I went to sleep or not sleeping at all, like that tired, but wired feeling. And the worst thing about burnout for me is brain fog. So if you're listening, and you've been feeling tired, or you're forgetting things, like this was huge for me, like I would have conversations with people. And you know, I still like hold, like, I've let go of a lot of it. But I feel sometimes like wow, like Was I a good leader. And I believe I you know, I know, I still was because people tell me, but to some extent, I would have conversations, and somebody would leave the room An hour later, and I couldn't recall a thing that we spoke about. So I was starting to wing things a lot. And I'm not a wing it kind of person, like I put a lot of effort and time and dedication into my work does the same with how I support my clients. So to not remember conversations to forget things like that was huge for me. And then that in decisiveness started to come in. And when you lead an organization, or if you're an entrepreneur, you know, building a business to be indecisive, it's not a good place to be, you got to be able to make decisions, you've got to be in the right mindset to make the decisions. And you've got to own the decision. And when you don't have either of those three, you're really treading on, you know, like thin ice and it's easy to start to make costly mistakes that take you way longer to fix. And so after getting to that place, losing pretty much like losing my passion like I started to resent my role and my job and blame a lot of people again, something else that comes with burnout. And I just was like, how is it that I'm like at this place? Right? Like what I thought was my dream Korea that I always wanted to do. I believe that I was going to be a hotel GM for the rest of my life, maybe work in other places around the globe, right like build particular towels. Oh, or maybe ultimately, you know, expand the hotels that this company had and, you know, create a whole fleet of beautiful boutique hotels. I mean, why not? Right? Like, that's what I thought. And then I was pretty much there with opportunities everywhere. And I didn't want it. I wasn't happy. I was like, you know, like, I was just kind of like robotically going through life like you wake up, you like, you know, get yourself ready, like, okay, boom, like just put my like blazer on, like, put the mask on off, I go through the day rushing all the time, home dinner, pass out.

A lie. Yeah, there's not much of a life notice a very much fun. Now, you said something at the beginning where you took a hotel that was doing okay to like, then it was super successful. So what part of your leadership skills do you think that really attributed to that part of the growth in it, because obviously, you led the team to a very successful several years in there. So I would love to hear a little bit more about what you think that really makes it for listeners that are listening to that or becoming new leaders and leading something, you know, that maybe you don't have leadership skills, or haven't led anything before, what are a couple of key things that you can recommend that we really do as leaders to be successful

100% A Think fast up to experience that you create for your team, and for your clients matters a lot, like a lot from the moment, you know, people come into your world to working with you in any capacity, whether it's a towel or not to leaving, and then becoming returned clients or referral partners or whatever it may be. You know, I think that that is huge. So really take some time to think about what's the experience that you want people to have? How do you want them to feel and not just done but how do you want your team to feel when they come in every day? How do you want to show up so you can help them feel that way. So I think that's vd word stops. And that's sort of people are kind of at the heart. But when we think about people, we really want to think about experiences and the feeling and emotions we want to evoke in people, because you're looking at a large number of people, right? Like we had, um, at one point, we had about 180 employees, right? So how can we get everybody on the same page. So by agreeing that we want everybody to feel a certain way, that we want there to be a certain vibe when you come in and experience right like, that is a word that I keep coming back to even now over and over? That is really huge. So this is where I would start. And then the next thing I would really say is, look at your own strengths. Right? Like, I think this is where we often go wrong. And we're also taught that, right? Like, we're taught that if we're bad at something to focus on our weaknesses and get better at them. But I 100% disagree with it. If you're really bad at something, stop doing it, hire somebody to help you do that, right, like compliment your team. This is especially true if you're building a new team, like as a leader of an organization, hire people that are better at you at things that you suck at, like, let's just call it what it is right? Because this isn't about being the best and greatest in the room. It's really about your ability to find the people that compliment you so that we can all work together. So, but very focused on your strengths, like what are your strengths, what's already dead, what's already working, and make that better, right, like make that better, because there's always room for improvement in your strengths. But it's going to be again, much nicer experience for everybody else, including yourself.

That really helps you stay one step further away from that burnout to by focusing on the things that you're good at and come naturally to usually are easier. And then the things that you don't know, you're not very good at

100% percent. And that brings me to the last thing and you just mentioned that, you know, I think it's important to have good boundaries, and really define or redefine what success is to you. And really start to think about how do you want this to look like for yourself like what's your vision for yourself as a leader? How do you want to lead? And if I could go back in time and did it all again, that's something that I would have really spent a lot more time in because I was focused on the people and creating the experience and the feeling and focused on the strengths and that worked really well. But I had no boundaries. And I had no vision on how I actually wanted to lead. Other than that I was proving myself and that was the thing right but that's not vd, a vision By default, auto piloting, but so when you really know that, and when you have the boundaries, and when you sort of redefine what success is, you know, not just in your leadership in your career, but also what what would success look like in your life and your family, in your health? And take that holistic approach, you're like, oh, okay, here's a few things I need to do. And this is what I got to start doing every day to move myself closer to getting there.

Absolutely. So as the words elegance and grace of coming to this conversation, in terms of leadership, what is that? Exactly? It looks like?

Yeah, I think one of the biggest skills that I find we can have as leaders, and that I would always encourage people to work on is your emotional intelligence, right? And what it really boils down to, and that's where that elegance piece comes in, as well I find and the grace is that we've got to be able to respond and not react. And that starts from the moment you get up as you lead, you know, your team as things come up, because the thing is, and hospitality, like it's pretty intense, like 100 things can come at you at the same time, you know, like a sprinkler goes off in a room, and we're sold out. And we're trying to fix that, and somebody else has a problem and emails going off. And some team has a conflict and like, booking system goes down, like literally, this could happen, like in a 10 minute span of time. Right? So you've got two choices, VT, you start reacting to everything. And it's frantic, right? And then you're like, in this reactive mode that makes you feel like you're behind, or you learn to respond and to step back, and to be like, Okay, we've got all of this, understanding that even though that's stressful, and even though you might find it frustrating, that those things are happening, right to be able to understand that you have an emotional response, and still be able to make decisions from the part of the brain that has the intellect a logic, that is something that I think is is at the root of this, because when we respond, we, you know, we show up very differently, very differently. And we start to be able to actually make better decisions and solve problems faster than when we react.

Right? Not so frantic when you respond and take, take a breath first.

No, it's a lot easier, actually. But it's, you know, I think for a lot of people, right? It's like, you feel like you have to like act fast. Maybe because we've we've sort of put this like quick responds, as quick as you know, as fast as you can handle something, the better. We've put this on this pedestal. But the thing is that by slowing it down, stepping back, taking a breath, really like giving yourself a minute to like, understand, okay, well, where am I at right in this moment with all this happening? And then sort of taking yourself out of it for a moment and just looking at everything that's there even is like if it's a movie that you're watching, and you're like a few of it, and you're like, Okay, what am I gonna do with all of this, you're actually able to address it faster, even if it takes you 10 minutes before you make a decision. Right? Instead of just doing this. I mean, I get we're gonna do that. And then 10 minutes later, you're like, realized you just made it West.

Yeah, that didn't work or whoops. Totally, totally. Yeah, that's awesome. You know, it's interesting, cuz I think this is, we especially we, you and I both went live on the west coast of Canada. And it's very much be proud of your hustle and like, over, there's a lot of overachieving. You in the weekend activities, like, well, I hiked the coastline. And I did this, and I did this. And, you know, we've come from a culture, especially over here in Western Canada, of like that hustle and grind. And it's a badge of honor, as you said earlier, like, you know, when you're hustling that gets so where are those steps that we need to start to take as you know, starting with ourselves first, to really be able to integrate more emotional intelligence and slowing down to get more results. And this is a great topic is something I'm actually doing in my own business as well is slowing down to plan for their head, look, you know, slowing down to speed up and it's, it's actually it works as much as you know, people are afraid to think, or I know, I was afraid to slow down because I would miss out on some things. But actually, the slowing down has been really successful. So any suggestions, any tips around this kind of topic of switching from the hustle and grind to the slowing down to move forward?

Yeah. 100% and you you mentioned something We're really want to start with because you just mentioned that you were, you know, telling yourself that like you're going to fall behind if you slow down, right? And that is what I call a story. Some people call it belief. So paradigms or you know, like, name it what you will. I like calling it a story because I'm a big believer that when we look at life as a story that we're writing, we always get to take a pen and rewrite again. Right? So the first step is to really start looking at everything that you're doing, and starting to see what am I telling myself that, you know, I have to do more in order to get ahead, or if I slow down, I fall behind or busy means I'm worthy, right? Like there's there's themes that you will start to see coming up in your life. And so the first step really is start to notice. What are you telling yourself? Right? What's the thoughts that come up? What are the things you say, when somebody asks you how you're doing, like, stop paying attention? Because I remember, when people used to ask me how I'm doing, I was like, yeah, I'm great. I'm just super busy. Like, I probably would say that like 50 to 100 times a day, getting great, just busy, great, just busy. Because when you say like anything that you say anything that you're thinking, actually, why is in your brain. So subconsciously, you're going to make decisions that are going to confirm that that experience that you're telling yourself is true. Okay, this is how messed up this is. But this is how our brain works. I do a lot of mindset stuff, even in my business coaching, because it's so important. But we've got to get clear on what are the stories that we tell ourselves. And then what's our vision, you know, where we are heading and same thing you said, you know, we slow down to, to plan ahead. And it's really important to know where we're going. Because once we know that you can actually take action with intention. And intention is something that I'm huge on, I believe that we can do less and accomplish far more. And there is you know, things like the peredo principle 8020 rule, I don't know if you've ever heard of it, it's really amazing. But ultimately, what it says is that 20% of what we do yields 80% of results, which also means that 80% of what we don't do only yields 20% of results. So as far as I'm concerned as an ambitious high achieving woman and entrepreneur, that means 80% of my time I'm wasting. So how can I make sure that I get clear on the 20% that yield 80% of the results and focus on the 20%, not on the 80%, right. And that's how we're actually able to take action and do things in our business, in our careers as leaders that very move us forward, instead of hustling mindlessly and doing everything but getting nowhere, which is what you see a lot and a very easy trap to fall into. Especially when you tell yourself that the more you do, the more you get. So you see how this works together. And then the last step that I would sort of say is check in with your energy. And I think our energy is such a brilliant guide, right? Like what lifts you up? What do you do in your business that lifts you out? What do you do in your career view leading teams that lifts you up? What do you do at home and with your family and your relationships that really lifts you up that gives you energy and focus on doing more, again, of the things that give you energy and start to notice the stuff that really drains your energy, you know, where are you wasting hours and hours doing something that you really don't like doing? I'm going to be the first one to admit accounting and bookkeeping is one of those things for me. So the first thing I did, like, literally, I was clear from the beginning, in my business, I'm going to be having a contractor to do my accounting for me to do my taxes for me to make sure that everything is in order to go through it every single month. And I will review it, like I reviewed massive balance sheets and financials for the hotel, but and I don't have a problem reviewing it. But I don't want to do it. So because it drains my energy. Yeah. And so yeah, so these are the three things so really get clear on the stories and set a vision. Take vd, intentional action to move you towards where you want to go and have your energy checkins like always bring it back to what brings me energy, what takes it away and then focus on what gives you energy and just start to notice how you're going to work less and how you're going to yield more results and faster than when you were going 180 and that to me is like the most incredible thing that I've ever experienced. And I always laugh because they say like the doing isn't my problem. The being is where the work is for me and it's it's ongoing because I love to be busy. I love to do stuff. But yeah, I catch myself and then I'm like, Okay, do I really need to do this? Right now I'll do I want to just play golf or, you know, go for a walk and rejuvenate. Because when we show up with our energy, when we show up really feeling amazing and feeling good, the confidence that you bring to your role, the ability, you have to make decisions, your leadership, the way other people respond to you, right, the leadership presence, like people always talk about executive presence and being memorable and inspirational. How do you be that it's when you are actually fully owning who you are, and you're, like, energized and people feel it? Right? Like, people feel it instantly, like you can't bullshit your way to leadership, presence and energy and an actually, you know, holding larger capacity of what you can hold as a business owner, le ader, entrepreneur, even at home,

you know, showingup this year old and stressed out and last second, and like, you know that, that's, that's a good clue, right? That's a good indicator, you need to slow it down. Take some time. And so, Theresa, this has been so fascinating. I love having this conversation, because it's so relevant. And it's so important right now, especially after this year that the whole world's had, I think it's forced everyone to slow down just saw, I love it. But I see how we're ramping up and getting into that. It's back to normal hustle and grind again, which we want to pull back and go through some of those steps that you have suggested for us. So you have something called the living room. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Yeah, the living room is super fun. This is actually a project that I've been working on for probably seven months and something I've always wanted to offer. So throughout the year, most months, I offer free master classes or workshops that you can come to on anything from things around emotional intelligence, goal setting, achieving with grace, to coming up things around selling with ease and running master classes and launching your programs. And so it previously to two weeks ago, you will only be able to get replays off these free master classes if you purchased one of my programs that I ran. But now I actually have a space where you can come in, which is called the living room. And I was really inspired by a living room being a place where we gather. And we can be inspired with things that we do whether we're reading books. And so inside the living room is a collection of right now five transformational workshops and master classes that you can dive in right away. I continuously add things, including links to podcasts that I've been on, that I've shed some wisdom in. And I will also have some really fun guests coming in soon where you can get even more content and inspiration to build your business. Build your career with ease and grace and elegance. And so yeah, it's a free space. I'm sure you'll be posting the link. So come join it, check it out, dive into what's in there. And yeah, if you're part of it, you also have access to vt cool exclusive offers that I don't have anywhere publicly announced. So that's another little bonus. Yeah, and let me be fun.

Yeah, and so where you guys can find out more information about that. Obviously put the link in the show notes but it's also I the Teresa Lambert cut with toys r Teresa Lambert coaching.com forward slash the living room. So go check it out on her website seems like such a cool place and it's such a great idea. We can go and chill out and get some really great master classes and see some really great things I races together for you there. So choose I want to thank you so much for being here today. You are such an inspiration and all you know we want to start leading our lives with more emotional intelligence, more grace, we want to achieve more with less stress. And I love your it's just love I love what you're about. And I love that this achieving with grace is such a such a forward moving goal or you know, it's a pathway that we can really follow that's going to change our lives and change our success. So thank you for all that you do. And you know that effectiveness and elegance is so important especially you're in a crazy workspace. So, Teresa, you're amazing and I just want to thank you for coming on here today that our audience make sure you reach out to Teresa we've put links all to her website and other stuff but the main place you can go and check her out is to resell Lambert coaching.com anywhere else and also don't forget check out her podcast with Blair the dice dissecting success which is all over all major platforms. You can do any last words to say before we let you go.

Thank you so much for being here. No, I'm just so excited. Thank you for helping me spread that message around achieving with more grace and elegance a lot of people told me I'm crazy when I went into this thinking that who wants to lead with elegance and grace and that nobody is going to resonate with that message? And I wasn't listening Of course, because I don't tend to listen to other people unless I really want to and turns out it is the thing that we could really use more of and more leaders that bring Christ and elegance back into the workplaces into their businesses. And you know, let's build empires with ease and, and create a different world where burnout is a blast from the past.