AS:037 Adapting and Thriving: Midlife Empowerment and Inclusion

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Okay, so thank you, thank you, listeners, for joining us for another episode of the Accessibility Solutions podcast. So pleased today to have Katja Lany with me. And Katja is an expert on talking about self-sabotage and the wise women's womb wisdom. So she knows, she says, you know, how some of us in midlife slow down enough to realize that we've been tainted by our lineage. We are older and wiser, yet still feel like a victim and have issues around codependency and we are still way too hard on ourselves. Well, Katja is a spiritual guide who helps wise women to break the bonds of their lineage, to become what she calls sacred disruptors who break the old pattern, stand up against old patterns of abuse, and love yourself, as she claims her best years ever. So welcome Katja to the Accessibility Solutions podcast. And we were just chatting a little bit before the show about how the work that Katja does in terms of having women, you know, kind of embrace themselves as they move into midlife. How that also works in terms of the work that I do around diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility. And so there is definitely, I think, intersexuality that comes between the two different paths that we might be on, but making the world accessible, which means making the world suitable, all does have some overlap. And we can have a little discussion, catch on, you know, how you see the work that Accessibility Solutions does fits in with the work that you do.

Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Linda, for welcoming me into your community and I'm for sure delighted about this opportunity to chat with you today. And when I was feeling into it, where is that point of connection between your community and mine? What came to me, first of all, was the fact that sometimes the voice of women isn't as heard in nowadays society than the voice of men. So in a way that makes me very passionate about creating that equal access for women and to empower women in their voice.

Yeah. So from that, yes, I agreed from that Equality perspective that we and I talk quite often. So a lot of my listeners know that I've had multiple sclerosis for 25 years and multiple sclerosis affects women three times as often as it does men. Yeah, quite often. In my case, I was diagnosed when I was just 33 and had a 10 month old and a 5 year old at the time. So being a woman, being a mother of two young children, being at the height of my career building years, then having to deal with a diagnosis and then what has now resulted to be, you know, significant disability progression. I'm now in a power wheelchair. So all of you know, through that trajectory of 25 years, really being able to brace those changes as we, you know, a woman, you know, as I moved through everything from being, you know, a young mother than having to basically give up my career because of my disability progression and then having my career transition to be my passion now, which is really accessibility solutions and making the world accessible. I'm all along where, you know, I'm really looking at the way that I've evolved as a woman in order to be able to deal with, you know, as I like to say, life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. And I can certainly relate to the work that you do in terms of supporting women as they transition through life, through a midlife crisis. And that midlife crisis can come with different, you know, different changes, whether it be having something happen to you throughout your life. Whereas you're now addressing that in midlife. I'm gonna let you kind of take that from there in terms of work that you do in working with women as they embrace that recognition, I guess in that transition.

Yeah, well, first of all, Linda, I wanted to express that my heart reaches out to yours with compassion as you had to juggle motherhood with a health challenge like that. That, of course, also impacted your career. So Kudos for that to you. And then when I listened to you speaking about life happening, I was reminded of this shift that is possible for people to not be trapped any longer in a place of life is happening to me, but to move from there to the more empowered position of life is happening for me and to really look anything that is happening with the perspective of what can I learn from that? What is the lesson for me here? And how can I use whatever is going on for me to grow to a better version of myself?

Yeah, I agree. So my keynote speech when I speak is actually called Adapting. It's the power of a positive attitude dealing with chronic illness. And you're right, I very much look at not so much that my diagnosis is something that sure happened to me in my mind the way that I have been able to deal with it, bracing that positive attitude. And, yeah, and for me just making an entire career shift. I mean, I have a degree in business administration and I went from kind of a CEO executive level position to turning my passion now into accessibility solutions and making the world accessible. And that is got a lot to do with, as you said on what happened to me or this, you know kind of poor me, but more empowering myself to change directions because of the necessity that I had to do that and maintaining that positive attitude so that I was still able to be a loving wife, a good mother, still able to maintain a career, albeit different than what I thought my life path was going to be. But again, all the way along Adapting so Adapting, Adapting, Adapting. So freaking my mission was always kind of okay, if I can't do it that way anymore, how do I adapt, still be able to do it? And we just have to look at how we do it differently. And that think, is kind of what you're saying like that, that whole concept of feeling empowered by making those adjustments. So the work that you do with women, especially as you said, you know, 40 from women that are in a midlife crisis. I think for all women in any kind of midlife crisis, there has to be that concept of adapting to whatever, you know, your new reality is. And how do you move past that effectively, I guess, is a question for you.

Yeah, you mentioned this for me, a reaction that is, of course, a position that puts you in the place of the victim. And the victim is always in this, I can't do anything. And that's, of course, a very disempowered, limiting belief. And it's about shifting from that position of this empowerment into a position of empowered agency to experience yourself as a co creator. And this stepping into an empowered agency is really very crucial. And I have experienced that on my own healing journey and growth journey as well. That I was starting out in this position of victim and I realized how I was setting myself up to lose from the get go. I was so afraid of making mistakes that I wasn't even an active player on the game board. I was watching live on the sidelines, and I noticed I'm robbing myself of the opportunity to win by doing this. And I really need to start playing full out because only when I'm a full out player, I have the chance to win. And it's really okay to learn by doing. I can allow myself to make mistakes and then get better and better by practicing. And that's a really better approach versus or even trying because I'm too afraid. It's really feeling that fear and then to do it anyway. And as Kimberly told us, you can speak to yourself and say, I am okay, I'm not scared, I'm just excited. And that's really the same chemistry. So moving from this place of excitement is what Kimberly recommended now and in the other room.

Yes, and I think, yeah, when we talk about being excited and not being afraid, try only, I mean, my disability progression was a gradual one, but there are people who, you know, have an accident and the next day they may be no severely disabled as a result of an accident, an illness, a diagnosis or whatever. And it's what I talk about all the time. It's that positive attitude to be able to carry on regardless of the disability and not defining yourself by the disability. But as you said, really stepping into the, I can still right? You know, I can still accomplish this. I still can. So back in 2009, I was no longer able to get into my vehicle. I drove my vehicle with hand controls, but I wasn't able to actually get in and lift my legs in anymore. But I refused that point.

I was 44 years old. I refused to give up driving. So I went out and I bought a wheelchair accessible van. So I, I still drive now in my power wheelchair, drive up the ramp and I drive right into the driver's seat because that was something that I refuse to give up, that independence of being able to still drive. And so again, adapting it was like, okay, I can't do it this way anymore. How can I still do it? How can I still be able to do something as simple as drive with a disability? That just made me realize that I needed to do it differently than other people. So I think your message resonates very well with both people who are dealing with whatever challenge comes their way, whether it be disability or some kind of a crisis in the need to race and feel empowered and carry on. As I say, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry.

Yeah yeah, yeah, so awesome that you could make it still work for you, Linda. And you are so right. The positive attitude that makes such a big difference. Do I look at what's happening and allow it to pull me down or can I be made in a place of optimism? And I'm so happy to hear that you were able to live from that place of optimism.

Yes, and that's honestly 25 years later, that positive attitude and that willing to be adaptable to whatever circumstances or what, you know, whatever curveball life throws your way, whatever. Yeah, that looks like being able to adapt whatever the situation is really what's kept me going in that place of positivity for all these years. So just before we wrap up, catch any other, any kind of last minute nuggets, words of wisdom for our listeners today.

Yeah, when I am feeling into what I would like to be the main takeaway for the audience, what I really want to emphasize is feeling all emotions fully. Because when we are unable to move forward with optimism and adaptability, like you say, that is often due to emotions that have not been felt completely. Often it is a huge amount of fear. So it's really about turning inward and feeling the emotion completely to heal it. And once you break through to the other side of fear, there is a feeling of safety and courage. And that's only one example, but it's true for many of the so-called negative emotions that when I really feel it completely, it shifts into a more elevated frequency. And that's what I would like people to encourage, to really feel emotions fully. And we were speaking about increased agency and people are held back from stepping into agency when they are in a very fearful place. So I was using the word fear as an acronym. And I'm teaching people that it can be perceived as forgetting everything and running, or it can be interpreted as feeling everything and rising. So I would like to be that advocate for feeling all emotions completely and fully.

What a wonderful way to wrap up that fear, feel everything and rise. Yes, I think that, you know, that's just a powerful statement in and of itself, is just, is to take that word fear and feel everything and rise. So thank you, thank you so much, Katja for joining us today. For those of you who are listening, if anything that Katja and I have touched you with in our discussion today, please feel free to leave us a review on this episode. Katja’s contact information is in the show notes and if you want to connect with her or I, please feel free to do so. And until our next episode will wrap up here and cheers! Thanks so much.

Thank you.

Thank you for joining us on the Accessibility Solutions podcast hosted by Linda Hunt. We hope these discussions have inspired you and provided valuable insights into the world of accessibility and inclusion. If you're ready to take the next steps in creating an accessible and inclusive environment, we invite you to book a personalized Accessibility solutions consultation with Linda. As an experienced accessibility consultant, Linda will work closely with you to develop innovative solutions tailored to your unique needs and challenges. Together, you'll navigate the complexities of accessibility regulations, explore inclusive design principles, and implement practical strategies to ensure equal access for all. Don't miss this opportunity to make a real difference. Visit our website at solutions4 accessibility.com, that's the No. 4. So solutions4accessibility.com. Schedule your consultation today.Let's transform your space into an inclusive and welcoming environment for everyone. Thanks again for listening to the Accessibility Solutions podcast. Stay tuned for more empowering episodes as we continue our journey towards a more accessible world.