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Episode Summary
Welcome to another episode of "A Whole Lotta Shift" with your host, Jen Ingram! In today's episode, we're diving into the topic of overcoming fears, specifically the fears of success and failure, in order to maximize your visibility. We know that putting yourself out there can be intimidating, but it doesn't mean you have to share all your personal drama or dirty laundry. Jen shares stories of two friends in the coaching and services industries who have taken different approaches to visibility. One keeps herself hidden and constantly struggles in her business, while the other is a go-getter who embraces visibility and thrives.
Jen explores the fears that hold us back from being more visible, including vulnerability and the need to show up authentically. She shares personal experiences of challenging herself to attend events and network without checking guest lists or comparing herself to others. It may be uncomfortable, but sometimes taking that leap is necessary for growth. So, let's dive in and learn how to overcome our fears to maximize visibility in our own businesses!
About the Host:
Jen is a Dream Catalyst and Business Mentor saving hustling female solopreneurs from the chains of corporate America. Her passion lies in helping women through their self awakening so they can finally break free, turn their side hustle into the business of their dreams, and live a life full of time, location and financial freedom.
Jen is a California girl at heart, now living out her dream in the Midwest, traveling, coaching female solopreneurs and sharing her own story of triumph and empowerment across speaking platforms. When she's not traveling, she enjoys spending time with her college aged son and her rescued Pit Bull.
After 20 years of various project manager and corporate trainer roles while juggling a wide array of side gigs, she has mastered the ability to help women see what they cannot see, believe they are meant for more and take aligned action to make it happen. With an MBA in Change Management, and a Health and Life Coach Certification from the Health Coach Institute, Jen is an expert at creating both the business process changes and the personal habit changes needed to finally Break UP with corporate and go all-in on your side hustle or long standing passion project.
Connect with Jen on Facebook or Instagram!
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jenelleingram/
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/wholelottashift/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/midwestvalleygirl/
Free Gift: https://mailchi.mp/4f4ae02ebe45/beat-the-odds
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When you think about how you're making yourself more visible, how you're getting
Speaker:into more conversations with more people and really putting yourself out there,
Speaker:that vulnerability doesn't necessarily mean that you have to open yourself up
Speaker:for all of your drama and share all your
Speaker:All your dirt.
Speaker:We, we, we don't have to know all of that.
Speaker:Hello and welcome to another episode of a whole lot of shift.
Speaker:This week we are talking about overcoming your fears, fears of
Speaker:success, and fears of failure so that you can maximize your visibility.
Speaker:If you are part of the whole lot of Shift Facebook group, then you
Speaker:are part of my five minute Monday mindset, and on Monday I talked about.
Speaker:Keeping yourself hidden or playing small out of the fear of success.
Speaker:And I went into a little deeper dive of what that might look like.
Speaker:And so if you didn't catch that, 'cause you're not in the group, get over there.
Speaker:There's a whole lot of value that's shared within that group.
Speaker:So I strongly encourage you to join the group.
Speaker:If you are in the group and you're joining this life, please be sure to say hello.
Speaker:I see that Sean is on this morning.
Speaker:So thank you.
Speaker:And alright, let's get us, let's get us kicked off here.
Speaker:So I've been talking this whole month about where your focus is
Speaker:and how that can play into your visibility in your business,
Speaker:whether that be in person or online.
Speaker:I've talked a little bit about some of the fears surrounding making yourself visible.
Speaker:And so today I really wanna dig into . What some of those fears might look
Speaker:like and how that could be impacting your business because it's preventing
Speaker:you from making yourself more visible.
Speaker:So I wanna get into that because I have a couple of stories for you.
Speaker:There's one, I have one colleague, friend.
Speaker:I don't know what to say.
Speaker:In the, in the coaching world, things get, get weird.
Speaker:I'll say friend.
Speaker:Anyways, and she's been, she has been in her business for several, several years.
Speaker:And she actually, she's not just a coach, she also created some products
Speaker:and they're freaking amazing.
Speaker:Like she's brilliant.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:And she.
Speaker:She kind of keeps herself hidden a little bit like She'll.
Speaker:She does a fabulous job of sharing with others that, you know, she does
Speaker:have this product that's for sale.
Speaker:However, she doesn't always share that she also does coaching.
Speaker:And how those two together are like incredible, right?
Speaker:And.
Speaker:And I'm gonna get into some of the stories that, that I hear because it's so funny.
Speaker:Like when somebody else is saying something, how you can immediately
Speaker:point out, oh, I hear their story, but when, when they're saying it
Speaker:or when we're saying these stories to ourselves, we don't hear it.
Speaker:Like, we don't even hear the words that we're saying that are really impacting us.
Speaker:So I'm gonna, I'm gonna share a couple things.
Speaker:So I have her, we'll call her Anna.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Then I have another friend.
Speaker:She is just a freaking go-getter.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:We'll call her.
Speaker:Oh, I was just gonna use a name and then I realized I have a friend
Speaker:who listens to this with that name, so I don't wanna do that.
Speaker:We'll call her b I don't know.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:She, she also, she's a, does a little bit of coaching, but not really.
Speaker:She is more into . Different services, different home services.
Speaker:Anyways, she, she's just a freaking go-getter.
Speaker:Super, super talented, incredibly smart as well.
Speaker:Here's the thing, I don't know how she does it, but she's just one of
Speaker:those people who naturally just enjoys
Speaker:Getting out there, putting herself out there, making herself known,
Speaker:whether it be social media, networking groups, what have you.
Speaker:She's constantly talking to people.
Speaker:Even when I've been, I've been to some events with her, and when
Speaker:I see her at an event, she, she loves talking to people, right?
Speaker:And so she's able to just get out there.
Speaker:A lot of people know her journey.
Speaker:They have seen her go through from her the very beginning when she
Speaker:first started her business, to where she's built it up to now.
Speaker:and and she's just flying right along, right?
Speaker:So I've known both of these gals for, well, one of them I've known
Speaker:for several years, and one of them I've known for almost two years.
Speaker:But here's the thing, I.
Speaker:The first gal will say, Anna, who's got that product?
Speaker:She's been doing this for a very long time.
Speaker:She constantly feels like her business is hard, and she talks about that a lot.
Speaker:And she says how hard all of this is, and she's really struggling in
Speaker:getting the sales that she wants.
Speaker:And this occurs year after year and she feels super frustrated in her business.
Speaker:And then we have my friend B, who, like I said, she just gets out there
Speaker:and I mean, I think she posts on social media at least once a day.
Speaker:And it's not always about her business.
Speaker:Sometimes it's, it's personal, sometimes it's a meme, like, I don't know.
Speaker:She's just constantly engaging with folks and and I've watched both of them.
Speaker:And I've seen the places where they have made sure to put
Speaker:themselves in the room versus not.
Speaker:And I've, being an outsider, I've had the opportunity to watch both
Speaker:of their stories and of course consider my own as I'm watching them.
Speaker:And it really, really, really made me realize how important.
Speaker:Making yourself more visible and talking to more people is, so that's
Speaker:kind of what I wanna talk about today.
Speaker:What are these fears that keep us hidden, right?
Speaker:Keep us behind the computer, keep us in our homes, keep us from Getting
Speaker:out and talking to people, whether it be in your local community and
Speaker:networking or whether it be online.
Speaker:What are some of those fears that prevent us from doing this?
Speaker:So, the first fear vulnerability, right?
Speaker:You kind of have to make yourself a little bit vulnerable in
Speaker:order to put yourself out there.
Speaker:Now I wanna be clear.
Speaker:Vulnerability so that you can show up authentically does not mean
Speaker:that you gotta go out there like some llama drama and just share the
Speaker:whole scoop about your whole life.
Speaker:The good, the bad, the ugly.
Speaker:That's not necessarily what being vulnerable means or being authentic.
Speaker:That's definitely not what that means.
Speaker:It just says that you're opening yourself up a little bit to just be real, to
Speaker:make connections to . To open those doors to more authenticity, if you will.
Speaker:It means that you're gonna have to do some scary shit.
Speaker:It means that it's gonna feel a little awkward, maybe showing up in places
Speaker:that you haven't shown up before.
Speaker:It means you might show up to.
Speaker:I know for me some of the things, this was last summer, no, summer before
Speaker:last that I was really working on was just showing up to events, showing up
Speaker:to network events, whatever it was.
Speaker:I just went by myself.
Speaker:I didn't have anybody going with me.
Speaker:I also put myself, I wanted to challenge myself in that a little bit.
Speaker:If it was something that was like an event that I saw posted on
Speaker:Facebook or something like that, I.
Speaker:I didn't check the guest list.
Speaker:Like I didn't look to see who had R RSVP'd.
Speaker:That didn't matter to me.
Speaker:I kind of did that intentionally because the other thing I didn't
Speaker:wanna do, I didn't wanna look at that roster or look at that guest list
Speaker:and go, oh, oh, I'm not like her.
Speaker:She's really, really good, really good.
Speaker:I can't show up there now.
Speaker:I didn't wanna do that.
Speaker:I also didn't want . I didn't wanna be concerned about
Speaker:who is there, none of that.
Speaker:I wanted to just show up as me as I am.
Speaker:Whoever I met while I was there was a surprise.
Speaker:If it was somebody I already knew, awesome.
Speaker:I have an opportunity to connect with them again.
Speaker:But I just showed up and I just put myself out there.
Speaker:And I'm not gonna say that it wasn't scary at times.
Speaker:Of course I was super uncomfortable.
Speaker:I was showing up.
Speaker:I remember.
Speaker:I didn't even have business cards that summer, in fact, but
Speaker:I had done that intentionally.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I still feel this way about business cards.
Speaker:I'm gonna be super serious and I get it.
Speaker:People still hand out business cards, but like it's 2023.
Speaker:It's 2023.
Speaker:Can we all just agree that we all have . This like thousand dollars
Speaker:gadget sitting in our phone, sitting in our phone, sitting in our hand,
Speaker:, and we can connect right here.
Speaker:Like why do I need to go and design a business card, go and get it printed,
Speaker:and then carry around both this, which is literally a computer in my hands.
Speaker:And it's a phone, a computer.
Speaker:It's all the things.
Speaker:And yet I'm gonna carry around a stack of paper.
Speaker:Why do we do I, it boggles my mind.
Speaker:So when I go to some of these network meetings and they're
Speaker:like, do you have a business card?
Speaker:And I'm like, no, but you know what?
Speaker:I have this cool thing.
Speaker:Let's just connect right here.
Speaker:Like what?
Speaker:Why wouldn't we?
Speaker:So anyways, I would show up to some of these meetings by myself.
Speaker:And I remember the first time that I did that, I was like, oh no,
Speaker:they're gonna ask for business cards.
Speaker:And I don't have one.
Speaker:And I kind of, I, I knew I had made that conscious choice, but
Speaker:I kind of for a second got the whole like, imposter syndrome.
Speaker:Oh my gosh, maybe I shouldn't go, you know, all those fears that fit.
Speaker:And then I was like, no, I've already made the decision that
Speaker:business cards don't make a lot of sense for me right in this moment.
Speaker:And so I'm just gonna show up.
Speaker:One of the gals did ask for a business card.
Speaker:But I, again, I just was like, you know what?
Speaker:I don't have one.
Speaker:Can we connect?
Speaker:Are you on social media or can you give me your phone number and I'll send you
Speaker:a message and we can meet up sometime for, for coffee or something Like, it
Speaker:just, it, that was so much easier to me.
Speaker:I was like, I don't wanna go home with a stack of business cards and
Speaker:I don't wanna have to carry around a stack of business cards to hand out.
Speaker:anyways, enough on the rant that I just went on about business cards, , my
Speaker:point in saying all that was that though, that fear alone of, oh my gosh,
Speaker:somebody's gonna ask me for a business card and I don't, I don't want it.
Speaker:That's not who I am, that I don't feel authentic about carrying
Speaker:around the stack of business cards.
Speaker:That's okay.
Speaker:But I could have let that prevent me from showing up at all.
Speaker:I could have let that prevent me from going to those networking meetings or
Speaker:meeting people or or, or anything else.
Speaker:So, I just want us to think about some of these fears that we're having
Speaker:as we're trying to put ourselves out there and make ourselves more visible.
Speaker:So this is what I want us to think about.
Speaker:When you think about how you're making yourself more visible, how you're getting
Speaker:into more conversations with more people and really putting yourself out there,
Speaker:that vulnerability doesn't necessarily mean that you have to open yourself up
Speaker:for all of your drama and share all your
Speaker:All your dirt.
Speaker:We, we, we don't have to know all of that.
Speaker:The other, the other fear, and I kind of just shared that as I was sharing
Speaker:the story about the business cards, is really just the fear of criticism, right?
Speaker:There was a little bit of fear there.
Speaker:Like, oh gosh, somebody's gonna say, well, why don't you,
Speaker:well you need business card.
Speaker:And, and then I'm gonna have to explain to them, you know, do I
Speaker:And so that occurred to me and that fear of, of that criticism can also exist and
Speaker:not just, not just criticism in the sense of you know, just showing up period.
Speaker:But even criticism, and I've talked about this a lot in the past, you know, you're
Speaker:gonna have those family and friends who are gonna say, what are you doing?
Speaker:What is this ? Business thing you know, get a real job, right?
Speaker:Whatever it is that, that fear of all that critiquing that you may
Speaker:hear and trying to please everybody.
Speaker:If you're a people pleaser, this is another fear that probably
Speaker:keeps you hidden because you're not gonna be able to please everybody.
Speaker:That's gonna be a real struggle for you.
Speaker:And then the other thing that I just mentioned as I was
Speaker:sharing my business card story.
Speaker:Or the story of showing up to networking events without checking the roster,
Speaker:that fear of imposter syndrome, I didn't want that to hit me at all.
Speaker:I didn't wanna have those thoughts of, oh my God, well, who do I think I am?
Speaker:I'm not as good as them.
Speaker:Oh, they're gonna figure out that I am, I'm new at this.
Speaker:They're gonna be able to see this right away.
Speaker:And I didn't even want to have that . As an excuse or as a reason to stop me.
Speaker:So I, I just, I just didn't even check the guest list.
Speaker:'cause I thought if I don't know who's there, then it doesn't matter.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So that dirty, sneaky, little imposter syndrome voice that kind of is telling
Speaker:you that you don't know enough or you're not, you know, . You're not
Speaker:enough or somebody's gonna figure out that you're a fraud, which is baloney.
Speaker:You know that little voice that says, who do you think you are?
Speaker:Exactly Who do you think you are?
Speaker:Showing up like this, acting like you're this full-blown business owner.
Speaker:That one will definitely hold you back.
Speaker:So if there's something that you can do to try to prevent some of those voices.
Speaker:. From appearing or some of those thoughts like I did of just not
Speaker:even checking the guest list.
Speaker:I would encourage you to do that if that means that you wanna do some advertising
Speaker:through your social media profile.
Speaker:And that might mean that you need to maybe create a separate profile, which you can
Speaker:now do on . On Facebook so that you don't have all your family and friends engaged
Speaker:as well, asking you questions about your business and what you're doing and, and
Speaker:giving you any of that, those critiques, if you don't wanna have to worry about
Speaker:that, there's all sorts of options.
Speaker:You can, you can also be as bold as, as I had been and I completely
Speaker:unfriended a whole lot of family.
Speaker:A couple of them I actually had to block and that sucked and that was scary.
Speaker:But I knew that it was what I needed to do to move forward and
Speaker:feel like I was sharing things in a safe space free of all of that
Speaker:criticism that I knew I was gonna get.
Speaker:So I've talked about some of those fears, showing up with vulnerability
Speaker:and trying to be authentic, and that sounds so scary, the fear of criticism.
Speaker:The fear of imposter syndrome.
Speaker:So I want to kind of break this down, right?
Speaker:Those are probably the top three fears, the more that I think about it.
Speaker:But here's the thing, when you show up and you show up as authentically, you and you
Speaker:show up with that vulnerability It really allows for those connections that you're
Speaker:making to be more authentically you.
Speaker:It allows you to truly attract people into your world that are
Speaker:likely in alignment with what it is that, that you're trying to do.
Speaker:You're not gonna feel like if you ever, you ever gone somewhere and
Speaker:and you're like, everybody's nice.
Speaker:I just don't know that this is the crowd for me.
Speaker:You know, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker:But here's, here's the thing.
Speaker:If you try to still make yourself fit in to that crowd, if you still try to
Speaker:adjust yourself for them, , then you're gonna have those connections that don't
Speaker:feel authentic, and those connections are gonna be a struggle for you.
Speaker:Those connections are gonna be ones that you don't look forward to and
Speaker:When it comes to your business, the last thing that you want is that
Speaker:you're trying to create, especially a, a service-based business.
Speaker:You don't wanna create something in which you find yourself trying to sell
Speaker:to or, or maybe you did already sell and now you have as a customer, some folks
Speaker:you just don't even want in your world.
Speaker:It's the last thing we want.
Speaker:So when you show up with that little bit of vulnerability for you to just be
Speaker:you and just show up as you are, that really allows for you to make those
Speaker:more authentic connections and attract people into your world who are more in
Speaker:alignment with your vibe and your message.
Speaker:And that's when the, the real connections are created also by regularly showing up.
Speaker:. Whether that be on social media and networking, what have you, but
Speaker:regularly putting yourself out there, it does make, because it makes you more
Speaker:visible, it increases the amount of trust that people have with you, right?
Speaker:Because people get to learn who you are, what your values are, what
Speaker:you're all about your stories, right?
Speaker:And it's making you more relatable.
Speaker:. Because of that, they, it's adding that trust factor that know, like,
Speaker:and trust is what you're looking for.
Speaker:And so putting yourself out there and making yourself more visible is really
Speaker:helping them to trust that It is helping them to trust who you are and that
Speaker:you're a real person just like them.
Speaker:It helps them understand what your values are and, and that's huge when it
Speaker:comes to building that know, like, and trust with your customers, your clients.
Speaker:What was the other fear that I talked about?
Speaker:Oh, imposter syndrome.
Speaker:I think we already talked about that.
Speaker:At the end of the day, all of these trying to.
Speaker:Overcome each of these fears to make yourself more visible.
Speaker:What you're trying to do is grow your business.
Speaker:So I kind of, I gave some very vague descriptions in the beginning of this
Speaker:and I kept them slightly vague for, you know, obviously intentionally.
Speaker:I am not perfect.
Speaker:I can tell you I think I shared, if you listened to last week's podcast
Speaker:episode where I was talking something about oh, I had an online boutique
Speaker:at one point in time and, but I never, I created like the secret
Speaker:profile I didn't tell anybody about.
Speaker:I really, but even then, like I didn't I didn't go to any in-person events.
Speaker:I I, I just didn't show up in a way that was going to grow my business.
Speaker:I just didn't.
Speaker:And at the end of the day, making yourself more visible is what's going
Speaker:to help you actually grow your business.
Speaker:So I am here to help you gain that confidence.
Speaker:Let's identify what these fears are so that we can start tackling
Speaker:them and, and move your business forward because, You are never going
Speaker:to be able to grow your business.
Speaker:You're forever going to be like the world's best kept secret.
Speaker:Unless you do start putting yourself out there and making yourself more visible.
Speaker:I don't care what all the gurus tell you about algorithms and sss e o on the
Speaker:internet and, and so forth and so on.
Speaker:Yes, there's some truth to some of that, you know, to some of that and making
Speaker:yourself searchable on the internet.
Speaker:But there's . A whole lot of truth in making yourself more visible.
Speaker:How many, and just think about that for just a minute.
Speaker:You know, one of the things I just thought is, how many businesses do you know that
Speaker:you have worked with where you heard about them because of word of mouth?
Speaker:Or they tell you, Hey, I don't spend a lot of on advertising.
Speaker:All my business at this point is word of mouth.
Speaker:I could tell you my hairdresser has done that.
Speaker:I've gone to her for probably 20 years now.
Speaker:She, I, I have never seen her advertise in the 20 years we've,
Speaker:I've, I've gone to her ever.
Speaker:It is all been word of mouth for her, and it's just really kind of a,
Speaker:a testimony to what can be done by just making yourself more visible.
Speaker:. And obviously doing right by your customers, having high value.
Speaker:A whole lot of other things, but the biggest one being that she wasn't
Speaker:afraid to put herself out there.
Speaker:I remember in the very beginning, you know, she wasn't afraid
Speaker:how, in fact, how we met.
Speaker:She went to an event and they were doing some raffle drawing drawings.
Speaker:She put her name in the raffle.
Speaker:She showed up at the event.
Speaker:She mingled and talked to people, and then of course I ended up winning the
Speaker:drawing and, and I met her . And, and then I became a longtime customer.
Speaker:And then my kids started going to her and, and I mean, it just kind
Speaker:of snowballed from there, right?
Speaker:And that was exactly how she grew her business, was she wasn't afraid to
Speaker:show up in those places and, and share in the value that she could bring.
Speaker:So, growing your business just by simply showing up is huge.
Speaker:And I want us to really, to really think about that.
Speaker:Last, but definitely not least.
Speaker:One of the things that I talked about earlier in the week was for you to
Speaker:really think about where it is that you're not showing up, that you're not
Speaker:making yourself visible or that you're playing small due to the fear of success.
Speaker:And if you didn't hear my talk on that, I encourage you to go.
Speaker:Go in and join the whole lotta shift Facebook group, because I
Speaker:gave lot this week's Monday Mindset was just on that and shifting that
Speaker:mindset and, and kind of honing in on what are you really afraid of?
Speaker:Because I've heard some people say, well, if I go, if I mean.
Speaker:What happens if, if I do put my business name in a raffle and I'm just
Speaker:throwing this out there, if I do put my business name in a raffle and then,
Speaker:and then these people win and, and then, then there's too many winners.
Speaker:And then and then I have too many customers.
Speaker:I'm like, is that worst case scenario,
Speaker:Can we stop and think that through for just a moment?
Speaker:Like, does that even make any sense?
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So, , like I said, anyways, go back.
Speaker:'cause I think that's another really important fear in addition to the
Speaker:ones that I've touched on today.
Speaker:You know, the, the vulnerability, fear of criticism, imposter
Speaker:syndrome, those are super common.
Speaker:But the other one that we don't like to talk about, that fear of success,
Speaker:go back and, and take a, listen to that Monday mindset that I gave.
Speaker:All right, I wanna wrap this up.
Speaker:This is really just a conversation that I wanted to have with all
Speaker:of you and consider how you can make yourself more visible.
Speaker:It truly can be a tool that can help you , build, and grow your business.
Speaker:And it's one that I would encourage you to take.
Speaker:I would strongly encourage whatever you can to put yourself out there.
Speaker:. In local events, in online events be a featured guest on a podcast.
Speaker:That's a great way to put yourself out there.
Speaker:But all of this is leading up to something big that I'm gonna be sharing
Speaker:in the coming weeks because I am going to be hosting an event that's
Speaker:going to help you make yourself more visible, and I cannot wait for it.
Speaker:So if you wanna be the first to get in on that and hear
Speaker:all the details about it, be.
Speaker:Before I launch it and when I launch, be sure that you are part of the whole
Speaker:lot of Shift Facebook group, because that is coming soon and I cannot wait.
Speaker:Alright, well, until next time, I wanna encourage all of you to go
Speaker:out, do something different this next week, figure out how you can make
Speaker:yourself more visible, whether it be online or in person, and of course,
Speaker:Keep making shift happen.
Speaker:Bye.
