Dec. 20, 2023

F*ck This Sh!t: How to Turn Frustration into Action and Success

F*ck This Sh!t: How to Turn Frustration into Action and Success

Episode Summary

In this episode, our host Jen Ingram shares a personal story of her pivotal "f*ck this sh!t" moment and how she used it to propel herself forward. She discusses the power of turning frustration into action and taking risks to make significant changes.

Jen encourages listeners to harness their emotions and take control of their circumstances, emphasizing the importance of advocating for oneself and embracing the challenges of entrepreneurship. Tune in as Jen dives deep into the transformative potential of these pivotal moments and shares valuable insights for taking charge of your life and business.

About the Host:

Jen is a Dream Catalyst and Business Mentor saving hustling female solopreneurs from the chains of corporate America. Her passion lies in helping women through their self awakening so they can finally break free, turn their side hustle into the business of their dreams, and live a life full of time, location and financial freedom.

Jen is a California girl at heart, now living out her dream in the Midwest, traveling, coaching female solopreneurs and sharing her own story of triumph and empowerment across speaking platforms. When she's not traveling, she enjoys spending time with her college aged son and her rescued Pit Bull.

After 20 years of various project manager and corporate trainer roles while juggling a wide array of side gigs, she has mastered the ability to help women see what they cannot see, believe they are meant for more and take aligned action to make it happen. With an MBA in Change Management, and a Health and Life Coach Certification from the Health Coach Institute, Jen is an expert at creating both the business process changes and the personal habit changes needed to finally Break UP with corporate and go all-in on your side hustle or long standing passion project.

Connect with Jen on Facebook or Instagram!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jenelleingram/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/wholelottashift/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejenelleingram

Free Gift: https://mailchi.mp/4f4ae02ebe45/beat-the-odds

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Transcript
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. I distinctly remember I was like, one year from now, I will not be sitting in

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this chair at this desk, in this cubicle.

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Working for this company, making this income, living in this body, like the

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whole thing, I knew it had to change.

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And I remember like, I literally stood up, like proclaimed this one day in my seat.

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My coworkers were looking at me like.

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You good?

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Like you okay?

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Welcome to a whole lot of shift podcast, the podcast for multi passionate women

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with an entrepreneurial spirit, where we provide inspiration, motivation, and

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education to help you shift away from all the shoulds and supposed to's to what's

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truly possible for you in your business and your life, all on your own terms.

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You ready, girl, let's make shift happen.

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Hello and welcome to another episode of a whole lot of shift.

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I'm Jen Ingram, your host, and I am so glad that you've joined us today.

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So this week in Facebook group, I've been talking about.

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Pivotal moment and how you can use that moment to propel you forward.

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And so today that is what we're talking about that moment that I endearingly

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call your fuck this shit moment.

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And I'm so excited to talk about this.

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For those of you who don't know.

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Fuck this shit was almost the name of my podcast.

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And I mean, I was so dead set on that being the name of my podcast.

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I was like, I, I had it, I had a graphic and I mean, I was ready to go.

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I was showing up to like.

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Networking meetings where you can, so podcasters have like different

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networks where you can go to try and find guests or whatever, or, or if

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you want to be a speaker and you want to be on a podcast, you can go there.

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So I was showing up those meetings.

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I was like, Yes, I got a new podcast that's going to be launching.

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It's called fuck this shit.

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If you're, you know, you're good with that, you know, send me an application.

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I was already talking to people, interviewing people,

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like the whole freaking thing.

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And you know, one of the questions that I would ask them, I'd be

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like, look, it's a little abrasive and you got to be good with that.

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Because I always ask my guests to do me a favor and share.

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Share something about having been on the podcast with their audience as well.

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And then of course I try to give them marketing tools.

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And then I, I typically share, oh, there's usually like a

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graphic and then one or two reels.

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So, anyways, that's just a little bit of background into.

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What I do for, for my podcast.

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If you know someone who would make a great guest for the show I try

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very hard to help them grow their audience and get their message out.

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And so it's kind of a, a give and take it.

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And it's a hell of a lot of fun.

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If you've already been on a guest on the show, then, you know, it's actually super

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freaking fun, which sounds silly, but.

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Anyways.

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Okay.

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So today I want to talk about what it's like to take that super pivotal

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moment and, and how you can really turn what's feeling like a really

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frustrating, difficult time in your life.

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How you can actually take that and use that as some momentum to

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get you to start taking action.

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So instead of sitting around wallowing in.

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Being super frustrated and pissed off at the world for however long.

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I want to talk to you about how you can actually go from that level of frustration

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and put yourself into action and how it can really just make a huge difference.

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If You're in the whole lot of shift Facebook group, which first of all, if

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you're not in the whole lot of shift Facebook group, I'll say it again.

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I think I say it every episode.

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What are you doing?

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Get in here.

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So on Monday I shared a Monday mindset and To kind of get us kicked off.

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Now those five minute Monday mindsets, those are exclusive to the group.

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So I'm not going to get into too many details about that.

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But I will say that one of the things that I kicked us off with was kind

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of looking back and becoming aware, like, are you in one of those pivotal

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Fuck this Shit moments right now?

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Or was there a time in which you can recall a super specific time?

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That you had that super pivotal moment and those feelings that you had trying

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to get back into the energy of what that felt like so that you can start

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gaining some momentum to go forward.

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So let me, let me, I'm going to share a story.

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I always share stories.

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I share stories almost every time on, on the show, because here's the thing.

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I can sit here and I can rattle off.

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Here's three tips to do this or five tips to do that.

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Blah, blah, blah.

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That's great.

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That's awesome.

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Here's the deal.

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You're probably not going to walk away remembering every

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single one of those tips.

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You're only going to hear like a certain percentage of that.

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But when I tell you the story.

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You're probably going to remember the story.

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You're like, Oh my God.

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Right.

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Okay.

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So I'll, I'll share the story.

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This, and this is, this is a big story, but I'm going to share one piece of this

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story because this was back in what I endearingly call 2016, which was 2016.

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It was not a great year for me.

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Not a great look.

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It was giving, it sucks.

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Life sucks.

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So anyways, this was a super, super pivotal moment for me, but it

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encapsuled every area of my life.

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Like.

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Every single area in multiple ways.

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So I'm not going to get into all of that today.

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Just because we would be here like a while.

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But literally like all these things kind of came crashing down on me at once.

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And listen, sometimes that is exactly how it happens.

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Like it sets off that trifecta where it's kind of like the universe

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is telling you, Hey, listen.

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I've been trying to put things in your way, but you're being

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stubborn and you're not listening.

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So, like, I'm about to just bring the house down and maybe

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you'll wake the fuck up, okay?

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So, I'm gonna share a, a piece of that that I think some of you might

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be able to relate to, especially in today's Economic conditions.

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And so, in 2016, I had, I was in a, I was working, of course, in corporate America.

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I had gone back into working at a full time job in 2014, after having spent a

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couple years Going back into freelancing.

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I've gone in and out of like freelancing and gig work and contract work and

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consulting and other things like that.

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Off and on throughout my life.

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It's actually started like in my early twenties, but so 20, yes, it was 2014.

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In fact, it was January, 2014.

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I went back to a job.

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And so here I am now in 2016, and I'm just going to say that things were not great.

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So what had happened was, what had happened was they had had, listen.

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The organization that I was in, it definitely served its purpose for what

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I needed during that time of my life.

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Okay.

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It was a small company.

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I had actually worked for that company several years prior for a period of

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time and had worked there when they were super small, just starting up.

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They had grown quite a bit, but.

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You know when you when you are starting in your career Especially if you're wanting

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to get a lot of experience sometimes working for a small startup can be super

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beneficial and so yes, it might mean you have some lower pay you might not have

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all the amazing perks, but you can also get a lot of experience really quick

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So I have to say that between 2014 and 2016 That was absolutely holding true.

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Like I went back to this company in January of 2014, they typically had a

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role, a rule that you had to sit in a role for a year before you could ever be

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promoted or transferred or any of that.

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Within eight months of me coming back, I was already being promoted.

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Like they were like, yeah, we're not listening to that rule.

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We need you now.

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And, and so that just kept happening like fast and it was awesome.

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Right.

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Because of course, frankly.

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I'll leave this for a different time.

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Frankly, if I would have had the confidence and had been able to overcome

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the imposter syndrome, I would've never accepted the role that they hired

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me back into because quite frankly, it was far below where I was at.

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But that's another story for another day.

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So here I am.

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It's now 2016.

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Well, they were going through just.

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A bunch of changes and long story short, I had been restructured.

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If you've ever been through one of those super fun, not so much.

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Three times that year, three times.

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Okay.

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It's down to like the third time.

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And at this point, I they're changing my title.

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I'm losing pay because they put me back into an old position and took

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away my salary, which yeah, anyways You know, I had been I had a team

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that I was supervising that was gone.

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With that, that one hurt a lot anyways.

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So the third time this is happening, I'm like, I.

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And done I really felt like I had this organization and this small

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group of people who knew nothing about me who Didn't know what I

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was truly capable of what I knew.

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I was truly capable of who were really making Life decisions for me there.

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They are absolutely at this point.

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They are in charge of my career They are in charge of my income.

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They are in charge of My life overall, because as they're floating me around

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from role to role, there were some roles that were like, Hey, you might

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get out of here at five o'clock.

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You might not.

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Right.

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Like I just, I felt like everybody else was running my life.

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And in particular, these people, except for me, right?

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So here I am.

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And I'm, I absolutely positively had this incredibly pivotal fuck this

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moment in which I knew that every single area of my life, like had to change.

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I distinctly remember I was like, I, one year from now, I will not be sitting in

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this chair at this desk, in this cubicle.

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Working for this company, making this income, living in this body, like the

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whole thing, I knew it had to change.

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And I remember like, I literally stood up, like proclaimed this one day in my seat.

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My coworkers were looking at me like.

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You good?

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Like you okay?

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So here I am.

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Now, they had How I got restructured out of this role was because it was a

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role that they had kind of created the year before in a really crappy way.

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It was It was, it was not structured Well, management wasn't that great.

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And I had sat back and watched as a coworker got fired and it was, it was, it

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was bad, it was just, it was really bad.

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And I remember they approached me about me taking over that role.

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And I was like, thanks, but no, thanks.

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I'm not taking, I was like, not the way that it's structured,

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not the way that it's structured.

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It is literally set up to fail.

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I just watched it happen now.

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There's a whole lot more to that.

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But cause it wasn't just the role that, that failed.

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There was a lot, but you know, I was like, no.

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So I took.

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They kind of restructured it a little bit and then had given, and

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then I became a supervisor of a different team, long story short.

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So here they are, they restructured me again.

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So I lose that whole role and I'm like, I really wanted this role because I knew

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it, what my goal was, was to get to.

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Into project management.

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I knew with project management, I could have a lot more flexibility.

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I knew it was something that I could go into contracting

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with and get contract work.

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I knew like just a lot of different things.

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And I was like, if I can get myself into this other area, I feel like

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that could propel me forward so that ultimately the goal has always been

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that I would run my own business.

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Right.

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But I, I also.

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understood that for me as a single mom trying to make ends meet, I was

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like, okay, this, I can see that this, this could go in progressive steps.

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Right.

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So they they took away my title, whatever, blah, blah.

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So sitting there the day after this happens with my manager and I was

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like, okay, so now you've restructured me like three different times.

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And I was like, you know, there's a mentorship program.

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I would like a mentor.

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And she was like, You no longer qualify for a mentor because

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you're no longer a supervisor.

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And I'm like, okay, that happened like yesterday, literally happened yesterday.

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And she was like, yeah, but it's no longer.

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And I was like, okay, well, I've been in that role for a while.

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I should have already had something going.

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Right.

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Anyways, long story short, I, I convinced her.

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She's like, okay, well, you know, what mentor do you want?

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And so this is where it gets really serious because you can

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tell that in this moment, I'm truly at a period of screw this.

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So this is where you, you get to start taking you those frustrations and it

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helps you to finally advocate for yourself and just start taking action, right?

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So here I am.

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I'm like, I'm done with this.

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These people being in control of me.

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So I fled.

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I was like, no, I should have already had a mentor.

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Right.

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I started advocating for myself.

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Now here's where if I had to go back in time, I don't know that

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I would say exactly this, but I definitely would advocate for myself.

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I just think I would approach it slightly different, but again.

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I'm sitting there in the middle of the storm or what I really feel like

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is the middle of the freaking storm.

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So did I always make the best decisions?

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Perhaps not, but I was dead set on things are changing.

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I'm taking action now.

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So, so I was like, Hey, yeah the manager of the project management office.

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That's who I want to be my mentor.

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And she's like, well, I don't even know.

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She's like, I don't know, technically your degrees and human resources.

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And I'm like, what's that got to do with anything?

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And and I was like, and I also have a degree in accounting.

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There was just all these things.

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So it's just like, well, I just don't know that he's going to

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be willing to be your mentor.

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And I said, well, you won't.

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Oh, no.

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I said.

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Well, why don't we call him?

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She's like, well, I don't know if he's available.

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And he said, well, why don't we call him right now on speaker?

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And she, and I remember she was kind of taken aback.

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Like she didn't know what to do, but my whole thought was, I really felt like

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she was trying to not have to do it.

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And I was concerned that if she said, okay, I'll follow up on that.

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It was going to go nowhere because this was already a pattern.

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And again, I'm done with them being in charge.

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So I was like, no, let's call them up on speakerphone right now.

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And she's like, well, I don't really know that I have time for that.

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And I was like, Oh wait, again, I don't know.

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I would have done it exactly that way.

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No, but I did what I had to do.

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And so we called him on speakerphone and he was a little taken aback, but

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he was like, yeah, he was like, I've never been a mentor before, but sure.

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So that was how I got a mentor, which really propelled me forward significantly.

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All of this to say, here's the thing.

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When these events start coming into your life, it's frustrating as hell.

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You truly feel like your entire life is in the control.

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Of all these other situations and in control of other people, of other things,

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of your, your history, your family history, whatever story you've been

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telling, right, and you get to that point.

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That moment where you say, I'm done with this.

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I'm done playing small.

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I'm done accepting this as my income.

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I'm done.

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I'm not showing up for myself.

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I'm done not advocating for myself and truly getting what I want and

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just trying to be the nice girl.

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I'm done with that.

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So I want some of you to think about where you're at, especially if you are working

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on your side hustle and you're feeling a lot of the pressure from your full time

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job and you're thinking, I don't know, I keep trying to fit this side hustle in.

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It doesn't really fit.

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I'm trying to connect with other people to grow my audience.

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It's not really happening, right?

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Like there's 50 million things at some point you need to say, fuck this.

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I'm done with it being this way.

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I'm going to make the decision that this is going to look different and I'm going

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to be the one that's in control of it.

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And I'm going to be the one that's truly in control of my future because

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you are, you are always just one decision away from changing everything.

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And it's truly up to you.

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You can recreate the circumstances that you want at any given time.

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But you're going to have to show up for it.

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And you're going to have to decide that you are no longer accepting anything else.

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It's truly that moment when you have to say, F this.

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So that's what I, the feeling that I want you guys to get into and to be thinking

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about and looking back at those moments that you may have already experienced

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this in your life so that you can look back and go, okay, so what did I do?

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Well, likely you started taking significant action.

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You started taking action with risk.

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A guarantee to get out of that situation.

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You started taking action with risk.

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You decided, you know what?

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Yeah, this is a little risky, but I'm doing it because I, I have the

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self trust and the self belief that I'll figure it out and I'll make it.

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But you've got to kind of get back into that moment and really

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be thinking of what you do.

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And I hate to say this, but you're going to have to take

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some risk being a business owner.

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Is risky fucking business.

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So you're going to have to take some risk as a business owner part of part

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of what you have to do is Take on all of the risk, right you're taking on because

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you're the one It's now dependent on you to bring in the income and as you

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grow And you start hiring employees and you're you're building and scaling

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and growing All of these things come back to you and the risk is on you.

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You're taking on the risk, right?

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So, I guarantee in order for you to get there, you're going to

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start having to take risks now.

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And I'm pretty sure if you think back at the times in which you made some

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sort of significant change or you had a really transformative moment, It meant

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that you took action and there was probably some action with some risk.

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And so if you've been sitting around in your business feeling like, Oh, well,

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you know, it's the end of the year.

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So in January, I'll kind of get things off.

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This is your message, your permission slip to say.

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It's time for you to have an F this moment.

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It's time for you to look back and think about what you can do to

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really change your circumstances because it's all up to you.

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It's all up to you and you're going to have to take some risks.

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You're gonna have to be brave.

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And sometimes as in the story that I just told where I said,

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I don't know that I would have handled it exactly the same way.

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It's going to get messy.

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It's going to get messy.

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Now I, she could have gotten really, really angry at me and been like no,

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you can get the hell out of my office.

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That could have happened.

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Although I kind of knew that wouldn't happen.

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It could have, right.

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Yeah, so I kind of wanted to, I hope that story helps, right?

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Like thinking about those times, when are those times in your career or your

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finances or your relationships where you've been like, you know what I'm done?

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And so, yeah, I'm about to advocate for myself.

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I'm about to say some shit that.

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This person may not want to hear or what have you, but I know that

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this is the only way that I'm going to be able to move forward.

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You took, you used that frustration that was built up.

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And you use that to start taking action and, and get out of your

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head and take some risk and let the fears go, let the stories go.

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So kind of thinking back this week, earlier this week, I talked about

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kind of acknowledging, like, what is this, what am I in this moment now?

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Right.

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And acknowledging, okay, what is this?

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What is it that the universe is maybe trying to freaking tell me

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acknowledge that frustration and own it.

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It's okay to say, okay, I'm in the middle of the storm, right?

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Own it.

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Give it a name.

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I, I.

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Never thought it was a while later after all this happened that I decided that was

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a fuck this shit moment but that was much that was a little bit further down But if

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I would have man if that would have come to me when I was in the middle of that

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story I would that I was And named it that I can just, I can just think about that.

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I would've been walking around all day.

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FTS, FTS and maybe I, maybe mentally I kind of did, but I just hadn't put,

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I hadn't really put a name to it.

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So that's, that's anyways, that's just a thought.

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I actually kind of love that idea.

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Acknowledge it, name it, own it, right?

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That's where it starts.

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And then ask yourself, right?

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Like, okay, so.

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What's, what's triggering this, this feeling that I have of absolute

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frustration and feeling like everything outside of me is in control of me.

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Like, what is it that's triggering that feeling?

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Getting back to some of the why.

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Is it's going to kind of help with that.

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So reflecting on that, you know, what, what is it that the universe

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is trying to tell me right now?

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Like what, what's going on?

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Why do I have this feeling?

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So reflect on that.

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And then of course, the, what I've, what I've been saying through this

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entire podcast, coffee chat is to start taking action, let that frustration.

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Kick off that momentum that you need.

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to get out of your freaking head and start taking action.

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And again, it's going to take some risk, but that's how we learn.

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It's how we, we get to the next place.

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And as a business owner that's kind of your job.

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I hate to say it that way, but as a business owner, taking

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on some risks is your job.

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It's, it's your job.

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Obviously there's a way to consider if you want to say a calculated risk.

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Sure.

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But it's, it's time to take some risks.

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I'd love to hear from some of you guys, what some of those fuck

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this shit moments were that you've ever, that you've experienced.

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Because I'd love to know.

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I'd love to know a couple of things because I truly believe this is such

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a pivotal moment and I really want to start teaching on how to harness

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in those emotions that you're having in that moment and use them for

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you and use them for what you want.

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So I would love to hear if you've experienced one of those moments and

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maybe some of the things that you did, like how did you identify, okay, I am, I.

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I am frustrated.

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I'm angry at the world.

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And so here's, here's what I'm going to do.

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I almost guarantee you though, the next thing was, here's what

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I'm going to do as an action.

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Right.

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And, and don't get me wrong.

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We all spend that time, you know, even as I'm sharing that in

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26, 16, I was restructured with my role three freaking times.

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We all have that moment of, you might need a few minutes to kind

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of wallow in your own self pity.

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I get it.

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But that is not the time to stay there.

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That is not the time at all.

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And I definitely wallowed a little bit in my own self pity,

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like, Oh God, again, why me?

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Why?

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Why am I the one again?

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Right?

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Like we all kind of do that.

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Don't stay there.

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Don't stay there.

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As you're sitting there asking why?

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Hell, get pissed off.

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Honestly, I almost think it's better.

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Get pissed off.

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Go from, you know, Oh, what was me to just pissed off because

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that frustration is what you get to use to start taking action.

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So get mad.

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All right.

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Anyways, I hope that this helps.

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I it's super funny.

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I, of course, like I said, this podcast was almost named fuck this shit because

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it's so important to me, but how this came to me was a couple of weeks ago,

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a A group, a coach that I follow in a group that I'm in, she proposed

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a challenge to all of us, and she named the challenge, Fuck This Shit.

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And I was like, of course, of course, with law of attraction, I find this

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coach who is doing a challenge, and it's called, Fuck This Shit.

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And of course, like, like she, like I found her online.

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Like I don't even, I don't even know how I found her to be quite honest.

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But of course, like.

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That was, that was who I, who I attracted into my life and how this all came about.

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And of course she ends up with somebody in her group who was like, holy crap,

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that was almost the name of my podcast.

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Like I'm all about this.

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It's just, it's so funny the way that the world works.

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All right, guys, I, I hope that you all have had a great week

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and I'm so glad that you're here.

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And of course, if you're missing this live because you're not in the Facebook group

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be sure to check the show notes because I got a link to the group right in there.

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But until next time, keep making shift happen.

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Bye now.

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Hey shifters, thank you so much for tuning in to another

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episode of A Whole Lotta Shift.

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If you heard something today that inspired you or resonated with you,

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please head over to iTunes and leave us a review to help others as well.

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Your review helps me give as much motivation and

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inspiration as I possibly can.

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And don't forget, you can catch all the outtakes, bonuses, special live

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stream interviews, and much more over at A Whole Lotta Shift Facebook group.

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Until next time, keep making shift happen.