Reason, Season, or Lifetime: Why People Come Into Your Life l S2E080

Welcome to a new episode. It's a sunny day, but

it is cold outside, and it reminds me of

seasons. And today's episode is

about why people come into our lives.

Is it for a reason, a season, or a

lifetime? And that's what I wanna talk to you about today, especially

as I record this. It is December and it is

approaching the end of the year and a new season. And

so the theme is how people come into our

lives, and why is it maybe just for a reason, a

season, or possibly even a lifetime?

And the catalyst for this discussion is

actually really interesting because I had flown with

my husband to Antigua. We went on a holiday. And

I had chosen the middle seat because my husband wanted

the aisle. And so the window seat was vacant,

and we're waiting, waiting, secretly hoping, I guess,

that no one would sit there so we'd have some space. But

then, of course, this lovely lady came to sit down beside me,

and we got to talking. And it just blew our

mind. Her name is Christine, and she's from Syria

but has moved to Nova Scotia. And she was bringing

a friend to Antigua who did not speak English.

Her friend was sitting behind us, and, actually, there's supposed to be a gentleman

sitting beside us, but they had switched seats. And

so lo and behold, sometimes I just think it's wonderful

divine intervention that she sat beside me.

We had everything in common. It was fantastic. We had

great discussions. I had this one crochet

project that I always keep for travelling, and so I

dug it out. But I haven't travelled in a while, and so I

was lost how to do it. And lo and behold, she was

like what I would call a professional crocheter. So we had

this fantastic discussion. She was into

wellness, and I was sharing this podcast with her, and it

was really just friendship from the instant.

5 and a half hours I don't even think we took

a break at talking. It was just like I'd always known

her. Now this brings up the whole

theme of today. Are we meeting people for a

reason, a season, or a lifetime? Now she is living in

Nova Scotia, and I'm in the Toronto area

of Ontario, Canada. So I'm not sure if we're going to be

able to see each other again. So what is the reason?

The reason is, wow, what an enjoyable flight.

I got to learn things. She, had a restaurant in Syria.

In fact, they moved to Canada 1 week

before COVID shut down everything.

To hear her story, you know, I have my story. Everyone

has their story of the shutdown of COVID. But to sh hear it

from her lens was just so, so interesting.

And so that's why I would like to share with you, it brings to

mind how people come into our lives.

Now there is a poem about this and the different

roles people play in our lives. Actually, I

have a friend, Jackie Conley, who is an Advent A Call for

Love listener, and she's come to all my retreats,

which reminds me, I will be hosting a retreat

in Samara, Costa Rica coming March

2025. We are going to be

having such a profound experience. My

partner, retreat partner, Liz Clay and I are

hosting at this beautiful place in Zamora, just

minutes from the ocean. There's 6 villas, 10 bedrooms.

And so the retreat mantra that we have created,

which I just love, is I nourish my body,

mind, and spirit, allowing nature to restore my

vitality. And so if you're interested in this retreat

joining, please check out the website.

It will be in the show notes, but you can go to

globalwellneseducation.com to

retreats. In any case, Jackie brought this

up on one of our retreats, this poem, and she she

loves this poem. And so today, I'm bringing it to you.

You know, I'm not really sure who created this

poem. I did some digging, and apparently it's

Brian A. Drew Chalker, but

there's not much about him. And so I am

sharing this, really profound poem with you.

I'm gonna break it up into parts. So I'm gonna read the first part,

the reason, and then have a little reflection, and then a

season, and then we'll dive into, yes, the biggie, the

lifetime. So the poem goes like this:

People always come into your life for a reason, a

season, or a lifetime. When you figure out

which it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually

to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to

assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance

and support, to aid you physically, emotionally,

or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend,

and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to

be. Then, without wrongdoing

on your part or at any inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the

relationship to an end. Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and

force you to take a stand. What we must realize is

that our need has been met, our desire

fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you

send up has been answered, and now it is time to

move on. So that's

the reason. People come into your life for a reason. It's

very interesting how he shares this. I feel

that people float in and float

out of your life, sometimes more peacefully than others,

just like this beautiful woman, Christine, on the

flight. It's just like we our souls knew each other,

and then and she's gone. Well, that's a very simple

reason. It could be just to to inspire me on

the on the plane, create a beautiful essence

to a vacation that I was going on. Who knows? But it was really,

really beautiful. And sometimes, the

reason people come into your life is not so pleasant.

Maybe there's a lesson that needs to be learned.

I know that we often

outgrow people because we are growing

and maybe they are not growing the same with us,

and so they can leave us. It's very interesting

that a reason people come into our lives for a reason it could be

a short amount of time, or it can be a longer amount of

time. When you stop to reflect,

it can be very painful to let them go,

But life always provides us lessons. And

if we can stop, pause, and really

reflect, there's probably a lesson in the

reason that they came into our lives. I'm sure

you as a listener can identify with this so much.

And that's when our practices become really invaluable,

reaching out to those lifetime friends or

connections that we have to help us guide

into the reason and to let it go graciously

because I feel that we attach. I I cannot speak for

everybody, but I know that change is really hard

for people. Change is hard for me, that transition.

And when somebody comes in your life and you really, really like them or it's

really working out for you, but not for them, it ends

and vice versa. You know? You might decide it's

not healthy for you. I will give another

example. As, a guide and teacher,

especially in the yoga and meditation realm,

not so much coaching, we seem to stay connected

for a lot longer, almost forever. But I see

people float in and out of my classes.

And there was this beautiful woman at the front

desk where one of my studios, Faith, and she says, you know, this woman

bought a pass just so that she could come to your meditation

classes. She says, aren't you happy? Doesn't

that bring you joy? And I said, well, you know,

no. I said, because she could be

here today and gone tomorrow. And if I attach to

that, then I'm gonna create suffering because I'm gonna

depend on other people liking me or not or

liking what I offer or not. And I don't

value who I am or I'm trying not to value who I

am by in those circumstances. So

if somebody is coming into my life for

a reason, I try to be the

best I can be. Will it resonate

with everybody? Absolutely not. As I've said in

one of my other podcasts, I'm not everybody's cup of tea, and

that's okay. But then it has to work vice versa. You

know? If I'm not if somebody else is not my cup of tea or

they're not on team Linda, then guess what happens? It's time to

move on. So that is a reason. Now

the next part is a season and the poem goes like this:

When people come into your life for a season, it is because

your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done. They usually

give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe

it. It is real, but only for a season.

I really do like this, but I'm not sure I'm a 100%

agreement of this because I've had people come into my life

for seasons, and it was not always

a great season. I said in another podcast, my

mom I said to my mom once, I'm having a bad day. And she

said bad day. I had bad years,

which is so interesting. And I I think that can almost

be with the people in our lives if they've come in for a

season because, you know, some seasons like summer feel

really short, and it's a great experience. And some seasons, if you live

in Canada or other places, like winter, it feels very, very

long because it's not always smooth.

And so noticing that, I do believe

it isn't over until it's

complete. There is a quote somewhere, out

there. I can't remember the exact words, but really the essence

is that a situation, and I do

believe this, or a person is going to

possibly be in your life for a season

as until you learn the lesson or until it comes

full circle or until you're able to really

work through it. And so that's what I

believe to be a season. You may have,

as I said before, short seasons or long seasons, friends

who come into your life for a short time or a long time, and I'll

give you a perfect example. It could be work work

colleagues who become friends. And then,

you grow because you're always growing or you leave the job or

they leave, and all of a sudden, the friendship that

you thought was really so important in your life

dissipates before your eyes just vanishes. And

so that would be a season. Does that

mean this is a question I've asked myself does that mean

it wasn't good while it was lasting?

And I believe that it can be good during

the season of the friendship, but then you just move

on. It doesn't have to be a huge catastrophe

that you part ways something traumatic or

dramatic. It can be simply outgrowing each

other or the circumstances that you found

yourself in have changed and evolved so that

you are not, supporting and relying on each

other. You know, I had some really fantastic

friends at school, and now for whatever reason, maybe we're

busy, we maybe things are just, we've just moved on. Some

people leave the country, move away.

Whatever that is, it's a season. And can we

still honor the relationship even when it's over, if

it was good? And if it wasn't so good, can

we, again, just like the reason,

really hold space for the lessons learned?

Really interesting. I find it so fascinating.

And the thing is is to be just mindful, just to be in presence

during it all. As I've always said, I say to myself,

isn't this interesting? And just observe it.

Observe what's going on. And, of course, journaling is such a great

way to look back and reflect. And the last

one is a lifetime, and the poem goes like this.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime

lessons, things you must build upon to have a

solid emotional foundation. Your job

is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships

and areas of your life. It is said that love is

blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

Wow. Lifetime lessons.

Yeah. Those are possibly your family

who has been around in your life for a real long time.

And friends that, you know, you say, oh, I've known so and

so since I was a toddler, I was in kindergarten, or I was

in grade school, and you're well into middle life. Those

friends tend to be the lifetime friends.

And they're lifetime lessons. Sometimes the lifetime

lessons is just to help you get through, the

daily grind of living. And sometimes the

lesson can be more harsh, especially if you have

had somebody who has been or you

feel has been really detriment

to your well-being, who has really harmed

you emotionally, physically, or mentally.

And so that could be a lifetime experience,

which gets into the whole realm of healthy boundary

setting. And, you know, you can divorce somebody

that you have met. But sometimes you can't divorce your family. And

here, even as I say that, I know people

in families who have literally divorced each other. They

will have nothing to do with them, they've broken contact,

and so what are you gonna do? Right? Those are

lifetime people, lifetime lessons.

Very, very interesting, Not very easy

to navigate through. But if you

have somebody who has come into your life for a

reason, a season, or a lifetime,

I believe the wiser I get I was gonna

say older. But the wiser I get, I'm just gonna hold

space for it. And, you know, nothing lasts

forever. That is impermanence.

And also to say that somebody belongs to the

other person. My son. I have 2 sons. I use

the the vocabulary my son.

But there really, I feel,

souls who have come to me, and I've had the privilege of

being their maternal figure. But do they really

belong to me? I hope they will

continue with me for my whole lifetime,

but really knowing that we are all individuals

walking the same path and walking ourselves home.

And if we can notice, be present,

and honor people the best we can, and

that might mean setting healthy

boundaries and knowing what's good for you.

Right? I do believe we can set healthy boundaries

without being overly aggressive and

emotionally really harsh to another person.

And so these are the lessons of life. Who's coming into your

life for a reason, a season, a lifetime? And I tell you, I've

had some people that I've absolutely loved and

adored who have been a season in my

life, and it really hurt to let them go. But, you know,

we kind of forced it. We've tried to make plans to meet,

and it was it was just not lining up. Maybe their

schedule and my schedule, it was just not lining

up. To notice that, to realize

that, and to let it

go with kindness, maybe not love, but

loving kindness, I really do feel is the

goal, especially in this circumstance. I'm gonna circle

back to my trip to Antigua because while we were there, we

met 2 really great couples. We went with a couple, which we had a

blast with, and then we met 2 other couples.

And, you know, what a great experience that was. Barbara and

Bob and Diana and Greg. And we just had a

lot. They lived in California, the United States, and we live in

Canada. Well, it was kinda like we were friends

from forever friends. This is just like we

we connected like I'd always known them, and I

it's just, like, so interesting that they have come so far

away. We came so far away. We met in a place. Once again,

it could be a reason or a season, very short season because

this is a week. And then what is

gonna happen without forcing? Now social

media has certainly influenced this

because now we are able to stay connected with people.

And I say, you know, if you if you put it out and you stay

a little connected and it works out, that's great. And if it,

flitters off without even knowing, then

that's okay too. It's

okay too. It's when we push our agendas

on anything that's going on in our life that we

create suffering because we're either pushing away

people we don't want or grasping people that we do

want. Both cause suffering, says the Buddha.

It's to be with each moment with an awareness

and a loving kindness. That's how I

decide to live the best I can. It's not always

smooth sailing, but then those people who are lifetime

friends and family, they can certainly soothe

the path. You know? Make the path a little bit easier.

So I hope this resonates with you, but I do want to leave you with

a really beautiful poem, and it complements this.

And this is from Anne Mortife, and it's got

called Your Season. When

winter is upon the land, there's nothing for the seed to do

but wait. When spring appears, there's nothing

for the bud to do but blossom. When summer

unfolds, there's nothing for the fruit to do but ripen.

And when autumn comes, there's nothing for the fruit to do but

fall. This is the way of it.

Why cling to or struggle against the season in

which you find yourself? Cultivate

equanimity, patience, and acceptance, and you

will find joy in whatever season.

I'm gonna add, you will find a reason or

joy or purpose or a lesson

in the friendships or the people that

float in and out of your life. I hope

this resonates with you. I know that, the

season of A Call for Love is

really just such a beautiful season for me. I

have met so many people, and so many people are reaching out to me.

And I thank you for staying and

listening and here until the end. You are

appreciated. I appreciate you greatly. From

my heart to yours, namaste.